Nine Digit Donnie

Nine Digit Donnie (not his original name) was born a wood elf to some clan of backward ass bird watching, deer lovin', nature freaks.  He never felt among them for as far back as he could remember.  When his father tried to point out some 10 point buck, something Donnie had seen 10,000 times, he snapped.  He just left right then and there and never looked back.

He didn't have much of a plan so he decided he would head to the nearest human settlement.  He wasn't sure if he would be well received or not, and he did not care.  He knew for sure it would be interesting in a way village life was not.

Along the way he paused to rest under an apple tree.  After dozing for a while a single apple fell on his and rolled a few feet away.  Angered from being roused from his slumber but feeling hungry Donnie moved towards the apple unsure if he would eat it or throw it against a tree to watch it explode as if being punished for bothering him .  As he reached out he noticed the apple was not resting on dirt or grass, but a small bit of stone that was exposed.  He doubted he ever would have noticed without the apple.  Long story very short, he stumbled upon a vast underground complex. 

He explored a bit and accidently set off a couple of traps.  He avoided being hurt on the first, but the second trap crushed his left pinky when a stone rolled over it as he was avoiding being trapped in the  room Indiana Jones style.  He had to cut it off himself free.  In the aftermath of such an event one might think Donnie would flee in horror, but no, the opposite was true.  He was amazed by the ingenuity of the trap, of the whole complex really.  But he had to get some medical care so he double timed it to the humans.  He traded the information of the complex for help and the right to join a group to check out the complex.  He picked up some skills along the way and began his new career of robbing the dead.  The way he saw it, robbing the dead was a moral good.  What waste of resources it was to keep all those things buried in the ground when they could be of use to help the living.  

He learned to blend in with the humans, acquiring the proper clothes, mannerisms, and urban accent to pass as human.  He worked on the art of disguise daily and was quite adept at hiding his heritage.  Except for those ears.  The ears always proved troublesome to both his attempts at hiding his heritage from the humans and to being able to accept his own reflection in the mirror.  He had even contemplated slicing his own ears to shape them into a more human like form.

But all that changed when he met Ipsen.  Just some random stranger on a random night in a random town.  Somehow they got to talking and before they knew it a friendship was born.  A friendship and more as Ipsen was also a role model, mentor, advisor and sage.  During their friendship much of the rage that characterized Donnie's youth left him, and Ispen's guidance helped Donnie make sure most of the proceeds from repurposing stranded assets (grave robbing) went to help all the people through wise donations.

Ispen even provided moral clarity when Donnie strayed and stole from the living.  It had only been one time Donnie had done it, and wouldn't you know it, Ispen knew the man whom Donnie had stolen the item from.  A sign from the gods evidently.  So Donnie returned the item.  But not before putting together a presentation on how and why the inventor and Donnie should go into business together mass producing the item.  The beverages it made were amazing and Donnie could see, and wanted, a future for himself which involved the manufacturing and distribution of these machines.  And if he couldn't have that, he would settle for a single machine for himself.  He was still waiting to hear back from Oskar.  Donnie hoped he hadn't forgot about it.

Quotes from Donnie from a time before he met Ipsen.

"We live for hundreds of years, and you want to spend it as a fuckin' hunter-gatherer?  Fuhgetaboutit."

"So what if they fuckin' stink, at least they do shit."  (referring to humans)