Factoré died today when the dragon attacked Axeholm. She has been pleasant company, and useful to have around, not only in a fight but also keeping the group's morale up. As the diamond turned to dust and disintegrated in my hand, a sacrifice for the power to draw her back from beyond the grave, I thought it a good choice. But she had been left shaken by the experience, shaken by how fragile her life had been when faced by the dragon. She decided to remain at Axeholm rather than joining us, showing sense that not many had when she took my advice to be more cautious.
I do not hold this against her. I know more than most perhaps just how fragile life can be, and how one can question their path. Her decision is her own, and if she feels her path is to stay in Axeholm and tinker along with Nundro, there to better people's lives, I will not question it. But I feel the gap where that diamond once was in my pocket, the reassurance it brought that I would be able to call back one of the group should everything go wrong. Where am I to get another diamond to replace it?
We go now from Axeholm beyond the safety of its walls, and I find myself more nervous of the threats beyond due to that. If Idris falls, if Siax falls, if Zenari or Koraliki falls fully beyond life, I will not be able to bring them back. Our group will be weaker, when we are already outmatched by the dragon, demoralised by it. The other group, The Eyes of Neverwinter, less in number now than they once were, have been taunted to go chase the dragon to its lair like fools. I doubt they will return at all. There was no wisdom in their actions. Our group could end up the same, if grief overtakes reason as I saw happen for a time with Idris over Gundren. I will need to find another diamond somehow, or the cost to buy one. Where would I even find such a vast sum, I do not know.
The only reassurance I have is that at least one of the Three still have their eyes upon me. I had not been able to reach out to them before, but when I called Factoré back from the beyond, everything had paused for a moment, and the cowled one was there and murmured to me "Ultimate power. The decision between life and death." Everything once more resumed around me, and Factoré breathed once more. I find that no matter how unsettling the figure is, or that they seem to be attempting to make me more power hungry in that regard, that it was a relief to have him there, and then later when I cast the augury I too got an answer.
It was a reminder that I am not alone in travelling this path now, no matter how difficult, and never have been. Although I am with the group, I doubt they would understand my perspective should I voice it, too engaged they are with life in all its facets and struggles. Few would ever be able to grasp the balance that tips back and forth with each breath one takes, both sides part of the whole of existence.