It has been a couple of weeks since the fight with the dragon. I spent some time in Axeholm carving shrines there in one of the rooms for the Three, and a plaque noting that it was they who had rid the place of the undead after so long. People deserve to remember the truth of the matter, and stone is hardier than word of mouth. Even now the stories of the slaying of the dragon are garbled and even unrecognisable in places.
While others rested, drank, celebrated, I made my way back up the mountain. My task there had never been completed, and the dead still remained. I found the body of the leader from the other group, the 'Eyes of Neverwinter' oddly held in a barrel that saved it from the crush of the avalanche, but of the others I found no sign, having been buried too deeply for me to find alone. Of Tokk there was no trace, likely for the same reason. I saw no ghosts of them to lead my way, and eventually I made my way back to the group, knowing they intended to move with the townsfolk back to Phandalin. The group are more closely tied with my own path now, thanks to their agreement with the Three, and the Mere of Dead Men is our goal.
I didn't like leaving the mountain though, knowing as I did that there were those I had not found and put to rest there. There was no pull, no tug on my attention as there had been before, always. I was no more bound to return than I might have been doing any task, the weight of the call absent as was the feeling of the Three's attention upon me. It felt wrong though, to walk down the icy slope, knowing my task there was not complete.
Upon returning I heard from Nundro Rockseeker that more had gone awry. After having had no response from the Three regarding my concerns over the dragon bones, I had asked the dwarf to secure them, but when he got there with the expedition to the Icespire Keep he found them gone. Only deep drag marks in the snow and nothing else. This worries me. We know already that bones like that were powerful in a way that spellcasters such as Zatharius were able to use, and the Talos cultists were hoarding such powers. It is just as likely that the green dragon has secured them, but neither outcome is particularly good. I can only hope that the dragon will continue to live peacefully alongside those of the region, and will not disrupt my plans as Cryovain had. I truly am tired of the constant fighting. It had never been my calling before.
That is something that has felt more normal than not since my return to life. I do not need to eat, sleep, or even breathe the air unless to speak or scent for things, and yet I have been finding myself at times weary, so very weary.
I do not know the cause, other than perhaps a relentless pull towards my final passing beyond the veil of life and into the office of Death. Although I do not need it, or crave it, eating food does seem to help ease it a little, perhaps in a focus and interest for the world, but casting spells seems to aid in it more. Perhaps it is the flow of energy from the Three that staves off the deterioration of my state, or perhaps there is no deterioration, merely the fact that I know I should not be alive in normal terms, and yet I persist.
This state, this new life beyond the living, it does not bother me. It is useful in many ways, as I found while travelling through the mountains and doing my duty there. It is strange, the changes, but not in a way that leaves me unsettled. Certainly not as others are when seeing me. Their opinions matter little, other than in making my tasks more difficult around them.
I do need to find more about my state though. There will be weaknesses and strengths that I, who was not brought up with such knowledge, need to know. There are the general weaknesses and drawbacks of being undead but more than that I do not know. Alive, I was drawn to things like eating, sleeping, and shelter, because the body knew what it needed and encouraged it, but I have found no such encouragement in this form. How do I sustain myself? What does my body require now?
I have some hope that there may be answers in the Mere of Dead Men, where I go next, once the group has settled itself in Leilon nearby. The Three, and Jergal, crafted me into this, and the Three always have a plan. It would make no sense for them to bring me back once more to do tasks for them, only for me to expire for lack of such knowledge.
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Next entry: Journal entry 2_02 - Cross Purposes