Why is this happening to me?

Obsessions
Dueling with Others (cant refuse a duel)
Join a Legacy
Aspirations
Make connections with the supernatural
Hunt Brenden
Help Armonia learn about her awakening
Nimbus
Long term - Brutal acts start to desensitize to violence
Immediate - Has the effect of making someone want to watch
Signature - Leaves the feeling of excitement about violence
Specialties
Weaponry - Sword
Expression - Showboat combat
Medicine - Field Medicine
Rotes
Control Fire
Kinetic Efficiency
Kinetic Blow
Telekinesis
Praxes
Call Lightning
Turn momentum
Gravitic Supremacy
Story
Zayne grew up in Texas outside San Antonio. His Family was poor so he lacked the luxuries most of his classmates had. That didn't bother him though because after school his father would do his best to teach him how to hunt. Zayne's mother left during this time and he never found out why, it bothered him growing up. After time passed his heart hardened seeing how it affected his father, drove him to drinking and their relationship slowly fell apart. After graduation Zayne never really had a goal he drifted through life unstructured. By this time he was already over 6 ft and still growing and in rural Texas his size alone brought on unwanted attention in the manner of drunks at the bar wanted to prove to their buddies how tough he was. Dont ask why he was there, it seems his fathers love for whiskey ran in his blood. Among the locals they didn't mind if he drank as long as he didn't cause trouble, so much for that. After one too many drunks sent to the ER a Judge gave him an offer. Join the military or jail time. Zayne not being as stubborn as his father opted for the Military. He fell into the Airforce of all places, with his scores he became a PJ. Para-rescue, with all of the time spent sending guys to the ER he became a medic oh the irony. It gave him the structure he had lost so long ago, it gave him drive to be better and aim higher, it also taught him that miracles are possible and tragedy can happen no matter how hard you try to stop it. After spending 8 years in the airforce he got out. With no one telling him what to do he questioned what was his own worth. He decided to go to college with the benefits from the military. As he attended he always questioned how no matter how hard he would try soldiers would still die in his arms when others should have died. Why was this and his curiosity caught the attention of the Guardians who behind the veil began his path into the Labirynth.
While attending college Zayne took great interest into the histories studying the Roman era. During all of his time Zayne had a hard time connecting with others. The horrors of the battlefield, the treatments of wounded men, his detachment from his own parents, it further hardened him his social skills lacked tact. While he could pull a girl or two, come on large combat medic in college, he could never get one to stick. He was happy that way, instant gratification and self pleasure without having to open up, who wouldn't be. Before he could graduate his awakening was upon him and he had progressed through the Labrynth and a new structure was placed before him. Structure he longed for and he took the opportunity after the awakening.
Abilities
Conditions
Mystery Commands - State
Your character hears the voice of the Exarchs, sees their words scrawled in her mind, and otherwise receives commands from deep within her Oneiros. Her Exarch’s will becomes an addi- tional Obsession, with all according benefits.
The Storyteller will occasionally give commands as part of this Merit. Additionally, your character can take actions in the name of her Exarch and reverse-engineer messages out of the context. Most any action that aligns with her Exarch’s basic whims should apply to this Condition.
Resolution: Your character cuts off ties to her Exarch. Traitors are not tolerated, and other characters with this Condition will be sent to punish her, or kill her if she will not return to the Throne’s service.
Arcane Beat: Your character faces meaningful setback, danger, or sacrifice on account of the commands.
Merits
Adamant Hand (••) - Advantage
Prerequisite: Adamantine Arrow Status •, (Athletics, Brawl,
or Weaponry •••, Special)
Effect: Your character has studied extensively in the Adamantine Arrow martial arts. This allows her to use combat techniques as Yantras for instant spells. When taking this Merit, choose Athletics, Weaponry, or Brawl, which your character must have three or more dots in. This Merit allows use of that Skill in combat as a reflexive Order tool Yantra, adding dice to a spell cast on subsequent turns, or to a spell cast reflexively in the same turn as the combat action. You may purchase this Merit multiple times to reflect the other styles.
Consilium/Order Status (• to •••••) - Advantage
Effect: This Merit grants all the advantages of the Status Merit (see p. 107), except it applies to the city’s Consilium or your character’s local Order Caucus. This affords certain protections and advantages under the Lex Magica.
Your character’s position affords her certain access to her Caucus or Consilium’s stores. She can access Artifacts, Imbued Items, mentors, libraries, Grimoires, and other magical resources. The Storyteller should assign an Availability rating to the item your character seeks, related to the power level or regular Merit rating. Consider your character’s Status dots as Resources for the purpose of procuring these magical resources (see Acquiring Services, p. 228). Availability ratings assume the service or Merit will be assigned on a temporary basis (for a single story); add •• for permanent requisitions. The group assumes she’ll return it when done with it, or make amends if it’s destroyed or lost. Merits suitable for requisition include Alternate Identity, Retainer, Imbued Item, Artifact, Grimoire, Mentor, Hallow, Sanctum, Library, Advanced Library, Safe Place, Familiar, and Resources, all with Availability equal to their dot rating. The Storyteller decides if your character’s group has access to a particular magical resource; rank doesn’t summon magical storehouses into being.
Order Status unlocks certain Merits and advantages unique to that group. As well, certain spells are taught to Order members; learning them outside the Order can be difficult at best, dangerous at worst. Usually, Order Status comes with a position of responsibility. This varies from city to city by Order.
Finally, Seers of the Throne Status adds to the character’s Resources for acquiring mundane items and services.
Sleepwalkers may only buy the first dot of a single version of this Merit. A character may normally have Status in a single Order. If a character works closely with a second Order, however, she may buy the first dot of their Status but no more, and may not use them for requisitions.
The Orders are both global organizations and locally compartmentalized. If a character uses Order Status in a Caucus other than her home one, reduce her effective rating in this Merit by –1 if the Caucus is a member of the same Consilium or Assembly, –2 if it is a member of the same Convocation, and –3 if it is unrelated.
Defensive Combat (•) - Advantage
Prerequisite: Brawl • or Weaponry •; choose one when this Merit is selected
Effect: Your character is trained in avoiding damage in combat. Use her Brawl or Weaponry to calculate Defense, rather than Athletics. Your character can learn both versions of this Merit, allowing you to use any of the three Skills to calculate Defense. However, you cannot use Weaponry to calculate Defense unless she actually has a weapon in her hand.
Defensive Combat (•) - Advantage
Prerequisite: Brawl • or Weaponry •; choose one when this Merit is selected
Effect: Your character is trained in avoiding damage in combat. Use her Brawl or Weaponry to calculate Defense, rather than Athletics. Your character can learn both versions of this Merit, allowing you to use any of the three Skills to calculate Defense. However, you cannot use Weaponry to calculate Defense unless she actually has a weapon in her hand.
High Speech (•) - Advantage
Effect: The character can use High Speech as a Yantra in spellcasting (see p. 120).
Mentor (• to •••••) - Advantage
Effect: This Merit gives your character a teacher that provides advice and guidance. He acts on your character’s behalf, often in the background, and sometimes without your character’s knowledge. While Mentors can be highly compe- tent, they almost always want something in return for their services. The dot rating determines the Mentor’s capabilities, and to what extent he’ll aid your character.
When establishing a Mentor, determine what the Mentor wants from your character. This should be person- ally important to him, and it should reflect on the dot rating chosen. A one-dot Mentor might be incapable of dealing with modern society, and want to live vicariously through your character. This might mean coming to him and telling stories of her exploits. A five-dot Mentor would want something astronomical, such as an oath to procure an ancient, cursed artifact that may or may not exist, in order to prevent a prophesized death.
Choose three Skills the Mentor possesses. You can sub- stitute Resources for one of these Skills. Once per session, the character may ask her Mentor for a favor. The favor must involve one of those Skills, or be within the scope of his Resources. The Mentor commits to the favor (often asking for a commensurate favor in return), and if a roll is required, the Mentor is automatically considered to have successes equal to his dot rating. Alternately, you may ask the Storyteller to have the Mentor act on your character’s behalf, without her character knowing or initiating the request.
Resources (• to •••••) - Advantage
Effect: This Merit reflects your character’s disposable in- come. She might live in an upscale condo, but if her income is tied up in the mortgage and child support payments, she might have little money to throw around. Characters are as- sumed to have basic necessities without Resources.
The dot rating determines the relative amount of dispos- able funding the character has available, depending on your particular chronicle’s setting. The same amount of money means completely different things in a game set in Silicon Valley compared to one set in the Detroit slums. One dot is a little spending money here and there. Two is a comfortable, middle class wage. Three is a nicer, upper middle class life. Four is moderately wealthy. Five is filthy rich.
Every item has an Availability rating. Once per chapter, your character can procure an item at her Resources level or lower, without issue. An item one Availability above her Resources reduces her effective Resources by one dot for a full month, since she has to rapidly liquidate funds. She can procure items two Availability below her Resources without limit (within reason). For example, a character with Resources •••• can procure as many Availability •• disposable cellphones as she needs.