I remember the story of the great bear, high in the night sky, never dipping into the sea. I remember being very small, curled up in a blanket by a fire cuddling a small toy bear, one eye slightly coming off from all the hugging. And contemplating how I would never let my toy be washed ever again so as not to break the promise the bear made to Thylea herself. Back in the day when success didn’t mean saving the world, when things were simple… back when people didn’t suddenly turn to you whenever they found an animal turned into stone. A younger Alke would have felt betrayed by their reaction, but I trust them with my life so I know no harm was intended. I hope they realise the same applies to my actions around them...
I lost my temper yesterday, shouted at Braz. I don’t want to write any more about the value or lack thereof of his arguments, but I should not have reacted like that. I should not have insulted him. Just like I should not have hit either Helikaon or Hippofilius with my spells. I told myself I was making a case to Helikaon to think tactically and make sure spellcasters can also do damage. But I’m not sure how much of it was me teaching him a lesson and how much it was my desperation to be done with it and hopefully make it out of these mines with just the one scythe brand I already carry. I must do better in future, this fear cannot take hold of me so much that I hurt my allies friends.