A vast cerulean sea accompanied by the intoxicating scent of saltwater. In my hands is a bronze device, an antikythera, covered in constellations that show me the way despite the sun beating down. The ship is moving quickly, much faster than it should. I look up and suddenly understand why: the oarsman are all corpses: dead, yet animated. And then it fades to blackness, as the waking world takes hold once more.
It’s stupid, but I just needed to write this down in case I find myself unable to remember. It honestly isn’t something I considered until now, the idea that I might forget things. I thought it was just my distant past that was missing from my memories. But it isn’t.
The horn showed me memories of times at home with Versi that were much more recent. Some were gentle reminders of moments that had slipped my mind, but others… it was like I was experiencing them for the first time.
I suppose it makes sense. I don’t feel like I have 500 years worth of memories. My days with my love, though I treasure them so, aren’t exactly filled with the kind of things that stick in the mind: adventure, drama, tragedy. But even so, I suppose they are blurrier than they should be.
I understand, and am at peace, with the fact that I can’t remember what happened 500 years ago. As inconvenient as it might be for us right now, it is better those memories are lost than the alternative of remembering the past Versi has tried so hard to shield me from.
But I don’t want to forget anything else! I don’t want to forget Versi, or my new friends, or this adventure! The thought that I might just wake up tomorrow and not remember writing this? It scares me. I don’t THINK I have forgotten anything since starting this journey. But then, how would I know for sure?
Perhaps they weren’t memories I was shown. Perhaps they were just dreams? Or figments of my imagination? Or visions of the future? I know… none of those explanations feel right, but the alternative is that my mind is broken, or that Versi’s magic has taken even more from my mind than we realised; and I am not sure I like either of those options.
And then there was that man whose name I just can’t quite recall. Did the horn show him to me for a reason? Or is he another part of my past that I really need to push away lest I remember something terrible?
Gods, it is exhausting trying to figure out what I should be trying to remember and what I should be trying to leave forgotten.