Letter to Versi (#19)
(Written travelling back to Mytros from Pamplaxia.)
Oh, my heart,
How I miss you! It is just a day or so now until we reach Mytros and the thought of seeing you there would usually be enough to lift my spirits… but, as I know our separation cannot end even once I am back in the city, I am left bereft.
At least my companions seem in good spirits, trying hard to train and hone their skills ahead of the games. Theo has taken to rafting such that you might believe he was born on the water; Hippofilius and Helikaon have been coaxing ever larger and wilder animals to follow us; and even Braz seems to be gaining confidence in his own strength.
I... feel inadequate, Versi. Pamplaxia has been a challenge. I have been close to death more times than I would like to admit to you. And close to giving up more times than I would like to admit too.
I left Mytros with the intent to try and train for the Games, to give everything a try, even knowing I wouldn’t be very good. But, after all this… I don’t think I can face failing again. I hope you don’t think less of me for it. Though I wouldn’t blame you: I think I think less of me for it.
All this is to say… I have decided to try to and help the others instead. I can’t cast magic, like Theo and Alke, that can make people stronger. But I used to be able to! I know I did. I have been desperately trying to remember how over the past few days… but no matter what I have been trying, the notes feel wrong.
No matter what I have been trying, the notes feel wrong. Hippofilius and Alke have been very kind, and have tried to help me but… I don’t think the issue is the magic. Hippofilius thinks the issue is confidence. Maybe he is right.
You know… I remember how I learnt the spell in the first place. I was watching Rizon help a dragon to hatch. Such a tiny thing, compared to their brothers and sisters… in a small speckled white egg. I... don’t remember if the spell worked in the end. I hope it did.
And I hope I can get it to work now.
All my love,
Calliope
P.S. I thought I had finished this letter, but I just had the strangest conversation with Xan! Remember that I told you I thought that she didn’t seem to like me? Well, it would seem that wasn’t so far off! She thought I was a Harpy… that all Siren are Harpies! Or at least on their way to becoming them.
I didn’t know what to say to her! I tried to be gentle… but it is difficult when someone accuses you of murdering people ships, dragging sailors to their deaths… oh, how can she look at the beings we fought in Pamplaxia, and then at me, and think we are the same?
I… suppose the differences are not as pronounced as I might like. Perhaps it is only vanity to think we are that dissimilar. It still stung though: to know that she looks at me and thinks I am capable of...
Though maybe she is right. She saw the Necropolis too after all... that temple to war, greed and blood with a grave earmarked for me right in the middle of it.
Either way, I think we are on better terms now. Or, at least, I have convinced her I am not an immediate threat… that’ll have to be good enough I suppose.