I, Jaimus McNulty, with a mind still sharp but a body that creaks like an old ship, hereby declare this my last will and testament, revoking all previous wills and codicils.
1. Introduction:
The sands of time, as the saying goes, are slipping through my fingers faster than a greased eel at a fishmonger's convention. Therefore, it's time to ensure the future of my cherished Little Shoppe of Curiosities, a shop as eclectic as its clientele and as slightly dusty as my favorite armchair.
2. Heirlooms:
To my cherished friend, Kaiser: I leave you, with your muscles honed from winter woodchopping (and a surprising fondness for squirrels,) inherit this Enchanted Stone. Exactly what it does is a mystery to all of us, but it will reveal your ancestry when the time is right..
To my steadfast Calliope: “Jaimus believed in you, Calliope. He said you'd be able to hear their songs. Guard these well. Not everyone who seeks them will be so kind.”
To my partner in crime Katrina, whose fine furry face must have a gambling tell. Sadly, I could never figure it out. To you I leave this enchanted paper. Only three sheets, but they can find someone in a pinch.
To Kustos-749, who listened to me for over a decade and never complained. I leave you your freedom. You will find your possession in the attic. I am sorry I could not grant this freedom sooner, but I wish you well. I hope very much we have thrown THEM off the trail.
3. The Shop:
The Little Shoppe of Curiosities, my enchanting (and occasionally rodent-infested) haven, shall not be sold. Instead, in a move as surprising as a goblin wearing a monocle, I decree:
Joint Ownership: of said shoppe, including all its curiosities, oddities, and potential rodent tenants, shall be jointly owned by the following individuals:
Aldo McNulty, my son: While your passion for exotic birds and questionable investments might lead you elsewhere, I trust you'll find the thrill of the hunt and the satisfaction of a well-placed enchantment to be equally enthralling pursuits.
Kaiser: Your dedication has not gone unnoticed. May this shop offer you the thrills and challenges you crave and an opportunity to get you out of the house for your dear parents.
Katrina: Though our past dealings involved more card games than I care to admit, I bequeath you a share of the shop and the slightly tarnished collection of miniature gnomes on the top shelf. They may not be gold, but they make excellent card trick partners and are surprisingly good listeners, especially for their size.
Calliope: When I needed an honest, if not overly flowery appraisal of an objet d’arte you never failed me.
Montief Van Grieves: While the nature of our business transactions remains a delightful mystery, I trust the ancient scroll hidden behind the attic tapestry will satisfy our outstanding debt. Its contents, though indecipherable to me, clearly hold great value to you.
The Guild That Shall Not Be Named: Your continued interest in the Shoppe, while shrouded in enigma, is acknowledged. Therefore, you inherit a share of the shop and the ornate mahogany chest in the back room. Its contents, I assure you, are of utmost importance to your organization, though the details remain, well, delightfully mysterious.
4. Responsibilities:
As joint owners, you are responsible for the smooth running and continued acquisition of oddities for the Little Shoppe. Remember, collaboration is key – just like a well-balanced potion or a perfectly enchanted pair of shoes.
5. Closing Remarks:
This will, with its peculiarities and slight eccentricities, reflects my love for you all and my desire for shoppe to continue to thrive and bewilder for generations to come. Now, if you'll excuse me, I believe I hear a flock of particularly chatty pigeons outside my window.
Signed & Sealed,
Jaimus McNulty
Witness:
Bixby, the shop dog (paw print)