Kyn is running a session of the Wayfinder's Tabletop Roleplaying Game, Second Edition.
- Lozaal's PC is introduced first, a ratfolk witch named Monty, with a pet fox named Lemon.
- Warden is playing himself, but "if wild shape was actually effective."
- Kal is playing herself.
- Leonus is playing himself as a cleric.
- Dax is playing a lizardfolk tax collector (and oracle) named Inncohm T'axx. She wonders if she missed a memo, as so many people are playing themselves??
Session 1
The session takes place in a small fishing town named Otari, and resolves conflict and uncertainty using something called "dice", or as Kyn called them, "clicky clacky maths rocks".
- Otari is known for fishing and logging.
- There's trouble at the fishery! Something is stealing fish. They go down into the basement.
- T'axx uses her tongue to scoop up a fish and eat it. Nice.
- Warden thinks about Baryonyx, a dinosaur that eats fish.
- Leonus examines the barrels and thinks they were opened with tools, not by an animal.
- Kal thinks about every time Riedra has stolen fish.
- They get attacked by rats! Monty is offended at how quickly the party kill them.
- Leonus is worried that these were guard rats, employed by the fishery to guard the fish.
- Warden and Leonus both fail to Treat Wounds. T'axx Refocuses, and Monty Scouts ahead. Kalshana outlines the barrels and the rat corpses in chalk.
- Monty guilt trips the others over the rats, saying they could've talked to them! They ask if Monty can speak rat, and he says they'll never know now.
- They proceed into the hole in the wall, and come to a cliff. Monty and Kalshana jump down (taking damage), and the others all climb.
- They cautiously proceed into the next room, which is coated in webs. uh oh. Monty throws his torch into the room to burn some of them away.
- T'axx carefully enters the chamber, but brushes up against a web. Spiders descend and attack them!
- They kill the spiders, and then find a sack of bones and skin, containing a nice shortsword and a healing potion!
Session 2
- Monty uses some magic to make Leonus better at perception, and then Leonus looks for danger and finds none.
- They proceed and come across a fork in the tunnel, but one way is blocked by a barricade. Monty listens to the barricade and hears clattering, so they continue the other way.
- Monty spots four little lizard guys, trying to get into a storeroom. T'axx strides up and the little guys attack.
- Warden identifies the little guys as kobolds!
- The kobolds attack, and they are truly pathetic. They stab T'axx in the foot and that is the last time they hit anyone.
- The group terrorizes the kobolds.
- Two of them get knocked out, one of them runs away.
- Leonus obliterates the last one with divine magic. The others chew him out for this.
- Monty went into a side room and found a mysterious bowl of water. He drinks some and gets sick.
- Leonus comes to check on Monty, and sees him being sick.
- Leonus princess lifts Monty up to get him out of the room. Monty mentions drinking the water and then Leonus puts him back down.
- Warden tries to get up to them but slips. Leonus tries to help but can't reach him, but then Warden manages the climb on his own.
- Monty tries to convince Warden to drink some of the water. Warden tries to identify what's up with the water, but isn't able to. He doesn't drink it.
- Kalshana tries to get into the storeroom but hurts herself. She sits down.
- Leonus tries to Treat Poison on Monty, but fails. "Okay, you're fucked". When looking in Monty's mouth, Leonus finds that several potions, and his car keys, are in Monty's cheeks.
- Leonus is so, so confused by this.
- Lozaal and Leonus, out of character, have a small tiff over this. Lozaal apologises to Kyn.
- Leonus and Warden leave the room and go to the others. Monty is too sick to make the climb himself. He weakly calls for help.
- T'axx comes to help. Monty tells her that Leonus stuck his fingers down Monty throat and then left. T'axx opens her arms and tells him to jump. They both get hurt a little bit.
- Monty tries to get T'axx to try some water, but upon finding out it's linked to a god, she declines. The church is tax exempt.
- Leonus tries to get into the storeroom, and the others challenge him. "Aren't we trying to protect the people's property?"
- Leonus says he needs to make sure there's no kobolds in this person's basement.
- Leonus breaks the door down, and loots the room. He jokingly tells the others that it's empty, but they clearly see him take things.
- There's a +1 Shortsword, 200sp and a gold ring.
- Everyone argues about what to do with this, as it's someone's property.
- T'axx checks for traps, determines the way forward is safe. She steps into the corridor and triggers a trap, causing the ceiling to fall.
- Warden has a look, but is unable to determine if the trap is still armed after injuring T'axx.
- Leonus asks what they're going to do with the two unconscious kobolds. T'axx suggests locking them in the cell, but Leonus broke the door.
- Leonus uses his rope to hog tie up the kobolds.
- Warden throws a handful of marbles (provided by Monty) into the corridor. Nothing happens.
- Leonus starts talking about reanimating the dead kobold to throw at traps. Monty just goes through the corridor.
- Monty steps into the next room, where a large statue stands behind a table with 9 gold coins on it. The statue speaks, in a booming voice, and says: "In my hands I judge the value of all wealth, raising up whichever is greater. One of these coins is a deception. Find it using only two judgments and receive my blessing."
- Monty gets visibly excited as the others all push past him into the room.
- Leonus identifies the statue as a depiction of Abadar, the God of Wealth.
- Monty goes ahead slightly and listens at the door, but hears nothing. He checks the statue for hatches that might hold kobolds, kobolds who could put on a deep voice perhaps. He doesn't find any.
- Between them, they identify that the room is magical but not what it does.
- Monty solves the puzzle, splitting the coins into groups of three. He takes the items out of his cheeks, revealing he has a much deeper voice, and identifies the fake coin. The coin turns to lead, and a secret door opens.
- Loot!
- Monty rushes into the room and opens the chest, shoving all of the loot within into his cheeks. There's some coins, an emerald, and a scroll of magic missile. Leonus says he doesn't want to touch it anymore, but that's our emerald.
- Monty lets Warden keep the stuff that was previously in his cheeks: a shielding salve and a potion of lightning resistance.
Session 3
- The party healed up and waited for Monty's sickness to end.
- Monty triggered the device in the secret room. There was a mechanical sound and Kobold screaming. Oops.
- They enter the next room, and find the kobolds were all killed by a spear trap. Whoops.
- They proceed down the stairs, take out two kobolds that were waiting for them, and then proceed into a larger room with a bunch of kobolds all eating dinner.
- They fight and subdue the kobolds, with the last one standing surrendering.
- The kobold talks about their boss, Zolgran, who is angry all the time and has magic. He also mentions a "new friend" but doesn't effectively elaborate on what it is, other than he believed it would give the kobolds the power to rise up.
- They let the kobold go, though Leonus wanted to knock it out so it couldn't stab them in the back.
- They level up!
- They proceed into the room where Zolgran waited on her elaborate stone throne. Zolgran manages to damage Leonus with magic, the first time he's been hit in the entire adventure.
- Monty absolutely obliterates Zolgran with an AoE lightning spell, and then Warden finishes her off.
- They proceed into the next chamber, which is filled with 10-ft tall mushrooms. Something at the far end snarls at them.
- Warden falls into the hole in the ground, never to be rescued.
- Monty sneaks into the room and climbs up one of the mushrooms, where he makes eye contact with a green dragon wyrmling. Oops.
- The dragon attacks, and gets everyone but Monty and Warden (who is in a hole) with its breath weapon, which instantly downs Kalshana and Leonus.
- T'axx gets Leonus back up, and then the dragon takes her down.
- Leonus gets Kal and T'axx back up. Kal uses her spell scroll of magic missile.
- Monty distracts the dragon and gets its attention. It eviscerates him.
- Kalshana unleashes her psyche, and then gives the dragon a headache.
- The dragon responds by killing her.
- Leonus gives the dragon Goblin Pox, which makes it sick.
- T'axx gets Enfeebling Ray off, reducing the dragons strength.
- The dragon eviscerates Leonus, downing him.
- Lemon, acting of his own volition, runs up to Monty, expresses disappointment in him, and then flees.
- T'axx tries to trip the dragon but fails, and then it takes her down too.
- Warden remains stuck in the hole, with no one to save him. Fuck.