It has been a relentlessly, disgustingly warm summer so far in Sharn. It's been really awful, really sticky, but crime doesn't take holidays so we've got to work (bloody capitalism).
It's 7am, Nyk is already at the office, sleeping in Melvin's office. Both Lazam Boromar and Melvin R. d'Medani are a little bit late, setting the bar for professionalism that we plan to continue. As Nyk is the only one at the office, he wakes up to the smell of cheap takeout (very oniony), and another strange smell in the air. Nyk takes in a deep sniff and then laments the lack of a well developed nose. Nyk feels like something is off, but Khyber knows what with a 4 on a perception check.
Lazam and Melvin arrive at roughly the same time, and see an envelop has been stuck to the door, with a peacock feather stuck to it. Odd. Melvin looks both ways before crossing the road like a good boy, and puts away his buzzfeed Voice of Breland quiz and picks up the envelope. He puts his gloves on first, so as not to contaminate the evidence, and places the feather in a little baggy. He then opens the envelope, and remembers to describe how he looks for the new players. Then he opens the envelope for real, and reads the following:
To whom it may concern,
I have watched your achievements in sweet Sharn and curiosity grew like thick vines.
A test to measure intellect with yarn and to see if you will spot the clear signs.
Find again your goblin secretary by solving my ingenious riddles!
She's safe, nothing untoward or scary!
Just some stakes raised while her bored thumbs twiddle.
Your first clue is at a building built strong
for knowledge holds the high tower afloat.
Young people flcok to here to sing loud the song
for skills to be applied from here to Wroat.
Solve the case and find my four hidden keys - or don't bother if that is how you please!
King regards,
Aphelia
Lazam Boromar walks up and asks what Melvin's looking at. He has Talentan markings on his face! Melvin hasn't met Lazam before, so they get acquianted. Melvin hands the letter to Lazam, and then goes to his office window and looks inside. It's dark in the office, Nyk is looking around, and then notices Melvin in the window and has the fright of his life. Melvin tells Lazam that he thinks someone has broken into the office! Lazam gets his violin ready (to do violince). Lazam knocks on the door and Nyk answers it, but says that the agency is closed. Melvin doesn't know who Nyk is! Nyk is heartbroken that Melvin doesn't recognise his good buddy who shares his office!
Melvin suggests a quick search of the agency, to check this isn't a prank. Man'die is known for doing weird stuff like painting her nails in the closet. We have a look around, and find a goblin! They aren't the goblin we're looking for though. He's dressed like a janitor, but our janitor is a kobold! Apparently this is our janitor though, Guus. Huh. Melvin asks if Guus has seen Man'die, but he says he hasn't seen her since yesterday. It seems that Mr Lost and Mr Found aren't here yet. Melvin proclaims that we need to rescue Man'die, and this is ultimately a good thing because it means we have a reputation! So much so that someone has kidnapped our receptionist!
Lazam suggests reviewing the evidence that we have, and Melvin asks if any of us know an Aphelia. None of us do, though. Lazam thinks the letter is referring to Morgrave University, and Melvin wants us to go investigate before Mr Lost or Found get here. Melvin downs his too-hot coffee and burns his tongue trying to look cool.
We make our way up to the University district, and the Morgrave University. There's loads of young people, obviously students, and someone is handing out leaflets for parties and clubs and stuff. Melvin wonders if this is a prank by a student, but that would be a crime! The letter mentions singing, so Lazam theorises that it might be referring to a music club or something, so he goes to look at the leaflets. He gets a leaflet for a choir, handed out by a jolly dragonborn named Bhisma Makala Brightblaze (not Bhizma Na'kala Flamebrow, which Nyk initially heard and then had a crisis about meeting a celebrity.) Lazam tells us about the choir, and Nyk expresses his concern about not having time to join a club and sing. Lazam points out the letter mentions singing, which is good enough for me.
Lazam mentions he's a musician, pointing out his instruments, but Nyk thought they were torture devices...cos Boromar. Melvin gives Nyk a lecture about not assuming things, whilst Lazam expresses how offended he is.
Melvin goes to speak to Bhisma, and requests for us to join the choir. Bhisma squints at us and asks if we're students. Melvin says no, but Lazam and Nyk say yes at the same time. We try to shut Melvin up, with Lazam punching the back of his knee as Nyk tries to cover his mouth, which just leads to Nyk slapping him in the face. Melvin claims that Aphelia told us to join, and Bhisma asks if we're the Lost and Found people!
What.
Bhisma says that Aphelia left some stuff for us, and takes us to the library. This isn't sus at all, it's fine. Bhisma takes us to a table, and then goes to get a little safe with an Eberron dragonshard on top of it, and another envelop with a feather. Nyk claims to have face blindness and asks Bhisma to describe Aphelia. Bhisma says she's hard to forget, she's 10 feet tall. Melvin thanks Bhisma for the help, and then Bhisma leaves. Melvin puts the feather in a baggie, and then we open the note.
804.148
ir'Urnal - 58:6:8
Kairama - 7:48:65
Palamedes - 741:15:31
Melvin goes to look for a record of noble families in Sharn, to find reference to an ir'Urnal. Vlannek ir'Urnal is a notable poet, who wrote Sovereigns Above, a quasi-religious set of poems about the Sovereigns and Six. Lazam thinks the numbers might refer to shelf numbers, or the Fantasy ISBN numbers of books in the library. Melvin goes to look for a copy of Sovereigns Above, and next to it are books by Kairama and Palamedes! Melvin excitedly fetches us, whispering the whole time to respect library etiquette.
Kairama's book is "Meditations on the Blackcaps", also poetry. Palamedes' book is called "Malfeasance", and it's really thick. It's full of morbid poems about death, because of course it is, it was written by a member of the Sixth House. We split up, each reading one book, with Melvin reading Sovereigns Above, Lazam reading Meditiations on the Blackcaps", and Nyk reading Mealfeasance.
Melvin goes to page 58, trying to make sense of the note, going to line 6, 8th word, which is "break". Lazam goes to page 7, 48th line, 65th word, which is "the". Nyk goes to page 741, 15th line, 31st word, which is "seal". "Break the seal". We're not sure about the numbers at the top of the note, 804.148. There is a chart nearby explaining the system for categorisation in the library, 804 corresponds to pre-War literature, which is where we found the books. The books themselves are labelled 804.148. As Melvin says, we are smart boys.
Nyk yanks the eberron shelf out of the safe and it opens, blasting us with glitter. Nyk has flashbacks to his raiding days and hits the floor, thinking he's being shot. Melvin looks in the safe, after clearing some of the glitter, finding a key and another note.
Congratulations!!
The second key is hidden in a pub
for people who cannot drink, taste or eat.
Down the towers and hope you are not snubbed
by crushing vermillion in the heat.
Sounds like we're going to the Red Hammer, but Melvin thinks we're going to the Cock Carnival! Apparently he's saying Cog Carnival, but he has an accent. We appear to have a disagreement on which one to go to. If only Reba Toldorath was here. How fortuitous! Reba arrives as we leave the library and sees us arguing about whether to go to the Red Hammer or the Cocks Cog Carnival. We don't know it's her and she also has face blindness so we spend some time not recognising each other. Lazam flips a coin to decide which warforged bar to go to. Reba approaches us, and tells us we're very loud. She asks if we know of any issues going on, and mentions that people from her agency were sent here and she was supposed to come along but she overslept! Lazam says that's us! Wow! What a coincidence!
Melvin shows Reba his home-made business cards to prove it's us, whilst Nyk gets upset at not being recognised for the second time today! We all introduce ourselves, and Reba gives Nyk a very firm handshake. Melvin explains the situation, that our secretary has been kidnapped! There was a riddle, a rhyme! It led us to Morgrave where we met Bhisma and then we had to read some books and then we got glitterbombed.
Reba points out that the note says vermillion, which is red. Nyk's colourblind though, so he can't confirm. To the Red Hammer we go!
We find an elevator and go down to the Cogs. We all cram into a small elevator and it's very uncomfortable, very cramped. There just isn't enough room so we get very cosy, and Reba starts hyperventilating. Oh no! I rustle through my bag, past the Merrix d'Cannith bath water, and give it to Reba to breath into. We're very happy to emerge into the Cogs, where it is very warm (disgusting). Nyk leads the way to the Red Hammer. Melvin asks Reba and Lazam how they found the Lost & Found agency. Lazam explains that he overheard a conversation and after reading an inquisitives novel, he decided to give it a try. Reba came to Sharn, and she needed a job. She joined an adventuring party but that was a bad idea, and then she saw an advertisement in a Sivis station and joined. This is her first case, and she slept in. Apparently this is the interview! Melvin explains that Reba shouldn't do anything illegal, because she doesn't have the inquisitive papers yet. Nyk is surprised, Melvin has papers!?
Melvin has a bit of a breakdown that apparently he's the only one with papers. Nyk takes Melvin aside for a sec and reminds him that the Lost and Found Agency were responsible for the deaths of a bunch of Boromars. Is that...not sus that we now have a Boromar? We're not trained for this, we just solve crimes. We return to the group, where Reba is showing Lazam all of her tattoos and explaing where and why she got each of them. She killed a boar in one shot from five thousand meters away. Kevin Kepona does a drive-by hello in his capybara suit! Melvin says "friends" and Nyk clings to that, Melvin called him his friend! New core memory unlocked.
Melvin, whispering, suggests that we should just ask Lazam if he's a spy. Nyk expresses some concern that if he was a spy for a society of planar raiders, he would say "No that's ridiculous why would I be a spy?" Melvin says that if Lazam says that, we know he's a spy. Melvin asks Lazam if he's a spy, and he goes "Whaaat? No that's ridiculous why would I be a spy?". Oh gods.
Melvin has another breakdown, we hired a spy! Oh no! Melvin says he'll handle Reba, Nyk needs to keep an eye on Lazam. Melvin goes over to Reba and gets down on one knee and says he has to tell her a secret, and she says she doesn't feel the same way, they only just met! Melvin is confused, and continues on his course, and tells Reba that he thinks Lazam is a spy. Reba says that's a good cover for what he was going to say, and plays along! Reba goes into the Red Hammer, and then the rest of us follow.
There's only one warforged present at the moment, Blue! Nyk says hello to Blue, and orders his usual, and introduces the others as his friends! Melvin says Aphelia sent us, and then Blue pulls out a safe! What! She was asked to give this to whoever came for it. Nyk checks the side of the safe looking for the code, but it's not there. The safe is covered in graffiti though. Melvin jokes that no place is safe from graffiti, which Nyk finds very fun. 'ABC' is written on it, so we try 123 as the code. It worked! It's another glitterbomb! Nyk hits the ground as the flashbacks hit again. Inside is another key, and another note.
Well done!!
The third is with she who death cannot court.
She is high up where Irian shines bright.
For a tithe, she'll allow you to consort
and find the music that makes things all right.
Reba thinks this is referring to Flamewind, but Nyk thinks it's referring to the "Not Dying Boys" from Aerenel. Reba thinks the "Not Dying Boys" are on another continent, no? But Nyk thinks they have a clubhouse in Sharn. Nyk isn't sure where though, so asks for a map of Sharn, which Reba pulls out of her pocket. How handy! She got it from a man named Kevin, the same guy who did a driveby on us earlier. Flamewind is probably still at Morgrave, and Reba looks through the map for something elfy. Shae Lias has elfy words!
Melvin wonders about the Irian connection, and Lazam thinks Aereni elves that die in Sharn go to the embassy and get transported. Melvin wonders if the moon associated with Irian (Barrakas) is ascendant right now, so we all look up...at the roof of the Cogs. Ah, we're idiots! We're smart though and know it's not Barrakas (the month) right now. Nyk and Reba are excited about meeting some of the "Not Dying Boys", but Melvin doesn't think we should call them that. We decide that "Not Dying Boys" is gendered, so we resolve to call them the "Not Dying Peeps". We find a skycoach (in the Cogs!) to take us up to Shae Lias. They want to charge us 10 gp! Outrageous! Melvin says he's the oldest so he can handle this, and Nyk calls him daddy. Reba whispers to Nyk, asking if Melvin likes the whole "daddy" thing, as Melvin tried to come on to her earlier and she wants to know what he likes. Nyk says he likes it when people break into his office and clean up the takeout boxes. Melvin softly whispers "noooooo".
The skycoach takes us up through a maintenance hatch and then drops us off in Shae Lias. A guard asks what we're doing, and Reba takes the chad approach and hostilely asks "what's it to you?" The guard states they're protecting their home, and Reba immediately apologises. Lazam shows the guard a peacock feather and asks about Aphelia. The guard sighs and says we'll need to speak to Niath, but she isn't happy about it and wants us to leave quickly. The guard leads us to a very nice house, and knocks on the door. The door is answered by a glowy, desiccated elven woman! It's one of the Not Dying Peeps! Reba says she looks radiant! The woman has a really nice violin, which impresses Lazam. She asks if we're the ones from the agency, and Melvin goes to hand her a business card. The guardswoman takes it, and throws it away. Melvin is sad.
Lazam whispers to Melvin if this is the singer, but Melvin thinks her throat might be gone? The undying elf leads into a room that is full of instruments, it's really nice, and there's a safe with a little keyboard on it! The instrument, not the...ugh...computer input device. The safe has a keyboard on it, and the keys are labelled ABCDEG ABCDEFG. Melvin tries 1234567, but it doesn't work. Nyk tries the Eastenders theme, but that doesn't work either. Lazam steps up, as the resident bard, to solve this problem for us. Melvin offers to pick him up so that he can reach the keys, like, platonically.
Niath says that Aphelia offered her a tithe in exchange for solving the puzzle. Reba asks what kinda tithe, and Niath asks what we're selling. Reba asks what she's buying. Lazam offers a single copper coin. Nyk offers some Merrix d'Cannith bath water, and pours a little bit onto Niath's hand. Niath looks at these offerings, and then requests something from Melvin and Reba. Reba produces an obsidian-headed arrow with string wrapped around it, it's really pretty. Melvin offers five gold. Niath puts the gifts onto the tablem and says the word CAGE. Melvin puts that into the keyboard. It's another glitterbomb! Fuck! There's another key and a note.
Excellent!!
The fourth key wishes to travel by rail
(but it can't, it's just a key with no mind!)
Statues debate loudly with no avail
Silence if golden, I think you will find.
To Terminus!
Melvin wonders if this means Man'die was never kidnapped. Reba thinks this is her job interview, maybe this is all a test!?
Na na na na na na na Lost and Found!
We make our way to the rail station in Terminus, and there is a new state? It's two humans, one with gorgon horns and one with a unicorn horn. Cannith and Orien? In their hands is a safe, and the statues are seeming to argue. Melvin thinks the statues look like lesbian magic, and he tries to take the safe. It's fused to their hands. Melvin speaks to the statues, and they turn to look at him!!! Wtf the fuck!?
Melvin asks what they're fighting about. Gorgonella says it's been like this the whole time, they're attached and Oriena thinks she's all that. Oriena argues and it just degenerates into a cat fight. Melvin tells Reba that this is the part of the interview where they learn conflict resolution. Reba offers the statues some fried kettle spiders, shoving the spiders into their mouths. The spiders gum up the statues and they go motionless, and the safe explodes in glitter again. Nyk hits the floor again, crying.
So close!
All keys in hand, time to solve the puzzle.
The dwarven vaults in the middle of all
while strange alcohols the guards guzzle
speak to Durnnam and we will have a ball.
Something to do with dwarves in the middle city? Time for the Kevin map! Ha ha! Get another horse, map map map! Time to go to Dragon Towers, to find the Kundarak enclave. Melvin asks if the dwarves are allowed to drink alcohol on the job, and Reba asks what he means by alcohol. Reba explains that what humans would consider alcohol is like baby milk to the dwarves, they need to drink stuff much much stronger. Nyk says he drank some dwarven ale once and it made him lose all his hair and now nobody recognises him as a bugbear. Reba says that surely someone in Sharn can give him his fuzz back, and then in the summer when it gets warm again he can drink some more Frostmantle Fire to lose it again!
We make our way up to the Kundarak enclave in Dragon Towers, and see a dwarf with a big ol' hammer! Melvin asks if he's Durnnam, and he says aye. Steph does a fake Scottish accent, which blows my mind. When Scotland gets independence, it's going to Khorvaire! Melvin tells Durnnam that we're here to have a ball with lady Aphelia. Durnnam asks for the keys, and Nyk asks how much he was being paid for this. He says plenty, which is fair enough. Durnnam goes and opens a vault, and confetti blasts out and wow Nyk is having a bad day. Man'die is inside, playing dragonchess with a troll woman in a very fancy hat. Melvin spits out a mouthful of glitter, and the troll begins clapping. Hello, Aphelia. She's very excited that we solved the puzzles! Reba asks if she gets her inquisitive license now, but Melvin says we'll talk about that back at the office once we've dealt with the person who...kidnapped Man'die.
Melvin asks Man'die if she was kidnapped, and she says no. Aphelia just asked if she wanted to hang out, and she just left. She has a job! Melvin tells Man'die to come back with us to the agency. Melvin says he hasn't...he doesn't think any crimes have been committed, but a stern warning is in order. Lazam, horrified, asks where they got all the glitter, but they won't tell us. Hopefully it wasn't an illegal source. We go back down to the office in Terminus to debrief.
Aphelia and Man'die talk the whole way, they're clearly good friends. Somehow, Aphelia has no glitter on her despite all the glitterbombs. We arrive back at the agency, where Guus is still mopping, and Mr Lost is waiting for us. He's going through papers behind Man'die's desk and looks up. He asks what's going on, and Reba says she succeeded on her interview. Melvin says she did great! Reba thanks him for the opportunity to be on this team, she will do him proud! Mr Lost says he's had reports of us around the city, and a lot of glitter. Nyk says he's got the paperwork report ready, which has all the details.
Mr Lost says welcome aboard to the new starters, and Reba thanks him again and shakes his hand. Mr Lost winces at the strength of the grip. Lazam uses prestidigitation to clean everyone up. Aphelia says we should be rewarded, and hands us a purse full of glitter with 100 gp each. Melvin says please don't do this again, we thought Man'die had been kidnapped! Melvin wouldn't want to see her behind bars, and she says she wouldn't want to go back to Dreadhold.
Lazam tells us he has somewhere to be, and to have fun with the paperwork. Hmm. We make Melvin's office officially also Nyk's office, so he doesn't need to break in.
FOOTNOTE FOR MR LOST. LAZAM IS MAYBE BOROMAR SPY, PLEASE INVESTIGATE. WAIT MAYBE THAT'S OUR JOB? IF SO, TELL ME TO INVESTIGATE AND I WILL...DO MY JOB.