SHIGEKO'S DOSSIER: As the son of Hyobu, Jocho is in line to inherit the post of Governor. In fact, he should have done so upon his father's death - but he has chosen instead to allow his mother to remain in power while he serves as the head of the Thunder Guard (G10).
Jocho strikes me, above all, as a shallow man. His desires are simple; he wishes to command an elite unit, to enjoy his pleasures and live a comfortable life. He seems to me a man who would rather seem honorable than be honorable.
He possesses great zeal for martial feats, and for this he should be commended, but it is my belief that his strong body masks what is, in many ways, a weak spirit.
"MEMOIRS OF AN OPIUM EATER": Nineteenth Year in the Reign of Hantei XXXVIII, Eleventh Day, Month of the Pig
This evening I had a disturbing conversation with Shosuro Jocho, We were in the House of the Morning Star (L23) and he was sitting at the next table, smoking and apparently listening to Precious (P48) sing. However, when Michisuna (P22) and Michikane (P15) left my table briefly, he turned to me and smiled. I'll admit, I felt a flutter of nervousness; he is a very handsome man, and his mask - more of a diadem - does nothing to hide it.
"Why don't you smoke?" he asked me.
"I don't like it," I said - blushing, I'm sure.
"You mean you haven't tried if."
"How do you know that?"
"Because everyone who tries it likes it."
I had no answer to that, so I tried to change the subject
"Are you an admirer of Precious? She sings so prettily."
"I thought all Phoenix were shugenja," he said. "Are you? Do you traffic with 'unseen powers,' spirits and ancestors?"
"No, I... don't"
"I'm sorry. I've hurt your feelings, haven't I?"
Looking
back on it, is it possible that he knew I had left school? It is said
the Scorpions are the masters of secrets, but he seemed genuinely sorry
to have hurt my feelings."It's not important," I said.
"It is very
important to me if I have wounded you unknowing," he said seriously."
What have you heard about the Scorpion? That we hoard our venom, biding
our time for a deadly strike? But that is only one side. Because our
weapons - the weapons of the heart - are so dangerous, we must be
cautious to keep them sheathed until used."
"I'm not sure I understand ..."
"The Crane operate with the promise of happiness; we operate on the threat of pain. Yet we must be kinder than the Crane until the time for cruelty comes; otherwise, our punishment means nothing."
His eyes were fixed on mine - deep and intense, and for a second I thought I saw in them a bottomless sorrow. I felt, for a moment, what it must mean to be him - every kindness regarded with suspicion, every accidental slight read as deliberate. No chance of trust and little of forgiveness. I could imagine no worse fate.
Then Michikane and Michisuna returned. Jocho's face became blank as a mask and he returned to his pipe. Michisuna furrowed his brow, but said nothing until later. Then he told me to be careful around Jocho.
"The Scorpion values purity only to the extent that he can soil it," he said.
I nodded, but in my heart I wondered. Is it mad to think that the polluted might envy the clean?
"MEMOIRS OF AN OPIUM EATER": Twentieth Year in the Reign of Hantei XXXVIII, Twenty-Second Day, Month of the Rabbit
I am so adrift in conflicting thoughts that I cannot believe the tranquil void described by Shinsei can exist anywhere. I look at myself in the mirror and wonder that my face has not changed, for I am certainly not the same woman who rose this morning, put on her robe, and set out determined to win the love of a man.
Have I done it? Certainly not the way I hoped, nor even the man I hoped. Yet who would not envy me? I set my net for a musician and snared the son of a Governor!
Everyone at Michisuna's birthday celebration agreed that the poem I read to him was beautiful, poignant, elegant, Everyone smiled, except for Jocho and Michisuna. Michisuna frowned, and Jocho only looked a little sad, a little wise. This showed me that only they understood. Only they knewwhat I was really offering in that poem, and to whom I wanted it given.
Naturally everyone surrounded Michisuna, and he was too much of a gentleman to ruin my hopes in front of everyone else. It was torment, but a beautiful torment. Fear of his rejection wrestled in my heart with hope that he would know, that he would tell me he felt the same, that he would love me. I knew it couldn't be so, but until I heard the words, I had hope.
He found a way. He snuck away and sent his cousin, serious-faced Asamitsu (P16), to fetch me. Michisuna broke my heart quickly. I could only stare at him as he spoke; at that moment I saw too clearly the pouches beneath his eyes, the beginnings of a belly his robe could not hide, the thick veins on his hands. At that moment, he was beautiful to me still, and he would not look at me. He fled as I wept.
That was how Jocho found me. I was so ashamed, and so afraid. Never in my life had I been weaker, and I had been taught that the Scorpion's nature is to torment the weak, to take an injured heart and cripple it, so that it can be possessed.
Jocho said nothing, but he knelt and held me. I sobbed and sobbed, and his patience was boundless, his kindness without limit. Finally I regained enough of my composure to speak, and I thanked him, and begged his pardon for making a scene. When I said it, I could see his eyes redden with tears.
"Even in your suffering, you apologize," he said with a smile. I laughed a little, but I couldn't for long.The tears came again, and I asked Jocho, "Why? Why doesn't he love me?"
"Because he is a musician, a poet, He deals with stories, which are nothing but lies. Beautiful lies, but still false. Can he ever appreciate something so genuine? Something flawless and naked as your love?"
I started to cry again.
"I am a soldier and a Scorpion," he said softly. "I know lies... know them intimately. They do not beguile me, they can make no claim on my heart. I know truth when I see it, and it is only truth that I can love."
As he said these words, he gently stroked my hair.
"MEMOIRS OF AN OPIUM EATER": Twentieth Year in the Reign of Hantei XXXVIII, Fifth Day, Month of the Monkey
Jocho has left me, of course. It was only a matter of time. I should be grateful that it wasn't done in public.
I can't believe I once hoped to marry a future Governor. Now my greatest desire is a hole to die in.
As could be expected, there were bitter words between the two of us. He played the injured party; fairly, I must admit here, but I wasn't about to give him the satisfaction when we were face to face.
"Was I ever anything to you, anything but a substitute for that impotent musician?" he demanded.
"In my heart? Of course not. But let's not be bitter; after all, you taught me how to buy liquid void (G1), how to feign affection, how to endure the embraces of a man I don't love... so many valuable skills! Most of all, you taught me how to see the fool in everyone, by generously showing me what a buffoon you are!"
"I think you're mistaken, my dear; what you've learned is how to show everyone else your own idiocy. Honestly, you think Michisuna would dare to touch the mistress of an Emerald Magistrate? Or that she would desire the caresses of someone so pathetic and powerless? Just because you were snared by his womanly charms doesn't mean everyone is so weak."
"Certainly I've been quite stupid; one only has to judge my lover to see that."
"I'm the best thing that will ever happen to you!"
"In that case I'm destined for a tragic life indeed. Tell me, what really upsets you? That I love him, not you? Or is it that there aren't enough unspoiled parts left in me to interest you? No, wait, I know; you're angry that you never managed to corrupt my heart. As long as I can love, you know you failed to destroy me completely with your phony affection and mock kindness."
"It does my heart good to learn that you finally figured me out," he sneered. "I'll admit that I was curious to see how difficult it would be to lure a virgin Phoenix into my bed and my life. Not hard at all, it seems."
"Certainly easier than seeing what's obvious to even a fool like me. You have another lover and you don't even know it."
"What are you talking about?"
I just laughed.
He's so right, though. I am a fool. Fool to think Michisuna would love me, bigger fool to think Jocho did. I'm an awkward friend to one - if even that, now. And to Jocho? Was I ever more than an experiment in lies?