On Birth and youth
I was born the fourth daughter to Arenward and Windrey Fillensong. In a family full of girls, the only thing that was really wanted was a son. At home, I stood to gain very little so I learned as much as I could from books and, by the time I was thirteen, I rather fancied myself a grown woman. That is when I made the decision to head out on my own. My eldest sister was in the process of being married off to some mid-level, pasty noble, Renchin Nandar, and I knew that was all that awaited me if I stayed.
I packed a few small things into a little sack and made my way out of my father's comfortable villa and into the big city of Neverwinter. I stayed in touch with one housekeeper who would occasionally sneak me a bit of food there at the beginning. I learned that no one in the house even noticed my disappearance for three days and, when they did, they were so busy with my sister's wedding, they did almost nothing about finding me. I think they were glad to be rid of the extra mouth to feed.
I took to the streets, taught myself to scrounge and pickpocket for most of my needs and begged for the rest. Even as winter set in and my eleventh birthday passed on 2 Hammer, I began to feel fairly comfortable on the streets. Another year passed by and nothing of note really happened.
On Sickness & Not Dying
The fourth winter on my own, though, a sickness came to Neverwinter. Most of the street urchins perished in the first few freezes. Their lungs were filling with some liquid and apparently they were drowning. When I first got the cough, I pretended it was just a cold. Then the shivering and finally the sores on my upper body. I'd already seen so many perish of this disease, I was determined to fight it.
I heard that pig fat helped so I slathered my upper body in the stuff. It was pretty easy to find and it definitely cleared up the sores but the cough continued to worsen. I continued to look for solutions and paid attention to those who lived and those who died. I wasn't about to die from this after finally escaping the misery of my home.
I found two additional short-term cures, both from a kind woman who sold flowers in the street. She suggested sage to help lessen the cough and a tincture of some kind to help heal the lungs. I've since figured out that the tincture was just rum with some cinnamon. I think she wanted to see me drink to death rather than drown.
While I seemed to be getting better for a bit, eventually the coughing continued to worsen. On what was sure to be my last day of life, the flower lady scooped me into her arms and took me back to her small flat, rancid with bugs and rats. Mattresses were strewn about in some of the rooms with doors that had fallen off. She turned into a small room and laid me on the floor, on a rug of some kind, tattered and torn.
"You really don't want to die, little one?" she asked in such a tender voice. I had already told her my story over a few of our meetings so I don't think she needed an answer from me. And, even if she had, I was incapable of providing one. I slowly shook my head and looked into her eyes.
"I'm afraid this sickness has you in its grasp, child. You deserve more than this. May the gods forgive what I'm going to do."
"Look away," she said. I turned away and realized she was going to kill me. I struggled for a moment but lacked the energy to flee. So, in the end, I resigned myself to a quick death. It was better than drowning, I thought.
And then, it came, stabbing, shearing pain. "Of course," I thought, my mind clam though my body was wracked with pain. "She's slit my throat. It will only be moments now." A flash of black as my sight faded away from me and then only white. I didn't know much about the afterlife but I knew it always started with white light and sometimes ended with joy. But the pain continued. I didn't think that was part of it. I could feel her knife on my neck but the pain itself progressed through my entire body. I felt it in my arms, down my chest, into my legs and feet. When it reached my head though, I found it completely unbearable and finally embraced death.
On Waking Anew
I don't know how many days passed with me lying there, dead on the rug in some abandoned tavern. But, when I woke, it felt like summer had come. I was warm despite winter's gale blowing in the open window. And the world around me was vibrant with beautiful colors and rich, decadent sounds. I could even hear the ocean from here. This must be the heavens.
I finally had the courage to open my eyes, expecting my world to have been transformed. What I saw, was the same dingy tavern. There was a cat snuggled next to me in the bed and I reached to pet it. I realized then, it wasn't a whole cat. I sat bolt upright and looked around the room. Dead animals, well, pieces of them were strewn about the room and, I believe, there was even a human leg. Everything with a dull brownish read, the color of old blood. I didn't stay around to find out if that leg was attached to anything, instead I bolted from the room.
I was surprised to find it dark outside because I could see everything as if it were midday. I ran quickly and ducked into a small alleyway and then, instinctively, jumped to a rooftop. The entire city was spread out before me. I felt a surge of strength and, despite the falling snow, I felt like I was on fire, burning with energy and strength.
On Growing
As life moved on and years passed, I settled in to my new prowess. I never saw the flower lady again, but learned about my new life through trial and error. I learned where and when to eat without rousing suspicion, fairly easy in a city like Neverwinter. I traveled to new places and explored the Sword Coast and inland. The love of learning I'd had as a girl never seemed to fade. Then, finally, I met another like me. He appeared to be about 25 or so and elven. Though, with elves and especially vampire elves, it is impossible to know his real age by his smooth skin and shiny raven hair. I approached cautiously and learned his name was Vintor. He Seemed as interested in me as I was in him. As it would happen, he had been turned into a vampire much more recently but also by a young woman who bore a remarkably similar description to that of my flower girl. He had stayed with her for a time and learned more about our kind than I had.
He told me many important things that I likely wouldn't have sussed out on my own. He told me I could still die and went through some of the methods by which that was possible. He told me that there were other ways toward eternal life which I found truly fascinating. And then he told me that many vampires are very territorial and typically one or a pair would claim a region. His face grew darker as he described everything around us, the streams, the ridges, and the valley. Finally, he said that this was his region and that i had trespassed. He attacked. A few moments later, his head hung from my hands as I built a fire and burned what was left of his corpse.
On Meeting a New Friend
One the first things I learned about myself was my ability to change my own appearance. I could look older, younger, taller or shorter. I could even transform into several different animals. This was very handy when trying to sneak up on or lure prey. The small animals permitted the former and the age changing permitted the latter.
After about twelve years on my own, I decided I wanted to see my family. I knew I couldn't talk to them, at least, not without killing them. But a morbid curiosity in me wanted to ensure that they were worse off than I. I learned that my father never did get a boy and my mother had died trying to give him one. He had moved south with his daughters after marrying some rich woman from Luskan. However, my sister was still in town. It only took me a few minutes to learn she lived on a farming estate with her husband and child.
I snuck to their house late in the evening under the cover of darkness. It was truly a lovely home. I could see my sister in the lower windows, she was puttering around at the table, maybe cleaning up from a meal. Her husband was still seated. As it turned out, he was very handsome. Then movement caught my eye in one of the upstairs windows. A boy of around 11 or 12 was staring out his open window. I'm sure he didn't see me but he was looking right at me. He closed his windows, drew the drapes, blew out his candle and, I assume, retired for the evening. For some reason, I found him very interesting.
I slept in the woods for several nights waiting to see if he would ever come outside and, finally he did. I watched as he went about challenging imaginary foes and fighting invisible dragons in his imagination. I was also very surprised when seemed to use magic. He could make the wind blow, lights dance and even shoot a magical dart from his finger tips. He did all this during his play as I just watched from the trees.
Over the years, I returned to the house several times and watched as the boy grew into a very handsome man. I decided we should meet. Our first meeting was a simple one. I made myself a little younger and literally bumped into him as he was wandering around town while my sister did some shopping. He was a very pleasant little boy and actually quite fun to talk to. These chance meetings continued for a time but I knew my sister would recognize me soon enough if I stayed around. So, I waited until the boy was slightly older and was sent off to school. Finally, I could spend some time with him alone.
It wasn't long before we were sharing our darkest secrets, mine, of course, much darker than his. He didn't even flinch when he found out what I was. He was patient as I told him about all the times I'd lied to him or fooled him. He understood when I told him He was kind when he learned how many people I'd killed. He didn't even seem scared of what I could do or who I was. It was at at that moment, that I fell hopelessly in love with him though, even then, I knew that somehow this would come between us.
On the inevitable
We both knew what we had couldn't last. He had to see his family. He had to marry. He had to take his place in the world. Before long, he met her. She was lovely. Kayla ... Kayla something. I don't think I ever learned her surname. He seemed to truly care for her. She seemed to care for him as well. She'd never love him like I did but, she was right for him and he for her. They married quickly, only eight months after meeting. He was so happy. He still came to see me but much less than before. Two years later he wrote to tell me they were expecting a child. Only a month later, he showed up on my doorstep in the pouring rain. Kayla was very sick. I took my healing supplies and we left. That night, I managed to become an eagle for the first time and was able to carry him, above the rain and faster than we could ride on his horse. When we arrived, she was barely alive. I did everything I knew and we waited. She wasn't getting better. I told him there was no hope. His eyes flashed at me, the candlelight reflected in them. "There is. You can change her."
I never wanted to hear those words. It was the one thing I knew I never wanted to do again. I denied him, probably for the first time since we met, I denied him. He was aghast. We argued for hours. I knew it would kill the baby. I knew it was a mistake. He didn't care. He just didn't want to lose her. I finally gave in. She AND the baby were going to die. I was a vampire and he loved me. Maybe he could still love her.
When Kayla awoke, after a few days, she was, at first, kind and grateful to be alive, but then quickly realized what she was and the evil in her eyes grew. She attacked and killed their housekeeper and then turned on Drezlin. What choice did I have? I pounced. It took seconds and she was still. Drezlin, covered in his own blood and mixed with hers, lost himself. He eventually stormed from the house and left town. I cleaned up and burned the bodies. I sent rumors through the town that he and his young wife had left town to live in the Moonshae. I booked passage in their names, boarded a ship and left for the islands myself. I spent several years there on the island of Snowdown where I met another vampire from Amn, Lady Erliza Daressin. I traveled back to her home and stayed there a few years. Finally, I decided to seek out Drezlin again. It took almost a year to find him but ultimately tracked him to the Sunset Mountains where he had met a gentleman named Cyric. A sly sort of a man with a very strange sense of humor. He had also reunited with an old school friend, Demiryn Lagustin.
On the Arcandor Materia
Soon after we all started hanging around, Cyric proposed the idea of finding all the world's magic items. There was something about his suggestion that I just didn't trust but Drezlin loved the idea. We can get the power from the hands of the powerful so they can't abuse people any longer. And so the Arcandor Materia was formed with Demi at its head. It was as if he and Drezlin were back in school together. I didn't think there was much the two of them couldn't accomplish together. Unfortunately, I was right. But, at least I had Drezlin back.
On Secret Pacts
To this day, I still don't know what he did. Drezlin had begun being bothered by our seeming age difference. He asked me to turn him, begged me to. He knew I'd refuse. He knew how much I'd begun to hate what I was. Though I knew no matter of explaining would dissuade him. He would find a way. Not long after, he came from a trip with Cyric to acquire some magic item of some kind. He came home very sick. He was in bed for almost a full tenday before he started to recover and that was only after getting help from Agrin, the local cleric. We shared a dinner after he had fully recovered during which he informed me that his illness had actually been the closest he would ever get to death. He said Cyric had an arrow that was the only way he could die and Cyric had taken the arrow to hide it far away. Later, he told me he'd even found a way around that. We could live together forever, he said. I pretended to be angry but deep down inside, nothing could have made me happier.
On the Devolution into Evil
Years and years passed. We continued as a group hunting for magic items, finding some, and cataloguing the ones we couldn't find. Cyric's hunger for power grew and Drezlyn and Demi just seemed to follow him. I was an inherently evil creature but often felt like I was the kindest among us. As the years went by things only got worse and Drezlyn became almost a stranger to me. The tenderness and understanding I'd fallen in love with was long gone. What was left was an evil wizard following an evil friend with a god complex. And then it happened, Cyric finally became a god. He had found a book of some kind and enchanted it so that anyone who read it would believe that Cyric was the answer to everything they needed. Then, he himself read it. The paradox that was created helped propel him to him to a place of new power. Drezlin and Demi soon became almost acolytes of Cyric.
On the End
It is time. I simply can't anymore. I found an item that could help prevent us from coming back, from rising after a death. Neither of us can even touch it because it is so good. I had it encased in a swan. I'd hoped calling back to that set of swans we had bought together so many years ago might appeal to whatever love he might still have for me. It didn't work. He wouldn't even hear me out. I can't continue like this. How many more hundreds of years? No. It has to end. Cyric is planning to attack Mystra. He wants her power. I'm going to defend her. If I die in the process, I die and hopefully this pearl will make it permanent. If I don't, at least I will have helped some good cause, partially redeeming myself.