Fixing Holes While Killing Sharks
After I burned a hole through the squid the android and I went on plugging the hole in this side of the ship. The magical abilities within me were not a big help in welding the hole shut. I should stick to my tools. While we were working on it the fish man and the cat woman go on exploring the ship. After some debating they decide to explore the opposite site of the others. Why?! Shortly after they went into the next room the cat lady ran back out screaming about more sharks. So the android and I rush to help them. After we killed those two sharks the android and I resume fixing the hole.
Finding The Fat Man
The next step for us was finding the knight and the fat man. So we went after them to the bow (?) of this ship. We could not find the knight. He seemed to have vanished at some point. This world is a strange place. Not one of the others was bothered by this. But we found the fat man. Just a few dark rooms and a hallway later. He is talking to someone over there.
After seeing a cat woman and a fish men the humanoid crows seem to fit in nicely ... After finding my way out of here I should get my head checked or my eyes; better yet: both. The fat man and the crows talk about a mutiny? Is this why we did not find the engineering crew yet? And before I know it their argument goes sideways...
Fighting The Crows
The fat man starts to hit some of the crows and the fish-man opens a door to my left where even more crows seem to be. To get a better view and understanding of what is actually going on I step into the smaller room where two crows attack the fish man. So I decide to help him by shooting a compressed solar flare at one of the crows. And before I know it he just spears both crows with his trident.
After stepping out of the room I see the android holding the door to the bigger room shut. The fat man is helping him. The crows on the other side are trying to push it open. And if that wasn't enough: Some crows arrive from behind us - right from where we came from ... So I shoot the first one. And before I can get another shot the cat lady uses some kind of magic to blast all the rest of them aside.
The fish man orders the android to open the door, but the android refuses. So the fish man, the cat lady and I rush out the hallway and try to go the other way around to flank the crows. But when I arrive the fight is already over. And by the looks of it the fish man has speared the last hostile crow to the wall. Well, there I was: thinking that guns were bad ...
Fixing Up The Under Captain
Only one crow was left alive. It crouched down on the floor and held its wings above its head. While I was looking around the room - lot's of dead crows - the cat woman gave out some kind of magical fruit. And when she tried to eat one herself it exploded! Third time is a charm, they say. Getting hit on your head surely does not charm you. Still dizzy I take in the view. Random stuff is thrown about the room and the crow is now lying on the floor; being hurt. I get over there and with the help of the others I fix it up.
Well that is a surprise: the crow is the under captain of the ship. The rest of the crows led a mutiny against it, because they did not raid enough. That is the commotion we heard when we tried to find the fat man. It introduced itself as Griff. We persuade it to bring us to the captain. But before we rise through the decks I fix up the cat woman and everyone introduces himself.
The android is ASC-something. We can call it ACSII. It has the only sane background of all of them. Working on an asteroid and being abandon by its human crew. The fat man is Moxmen Ho - he is a monk and the boss of a monastery. The cat lady is Rillia - a mix between cat and human. She is some kind of alchemist. Did some apocalyptic event throw them back into the middle ages, but preserved their technology somehow? I don't care. This is not my problem. The last one is the fish men: Dhovos. He is a warrior in a brass armor and like Rillia somewhere in his past some kind of fish has mingled with his gene pool.
Only the android seems to have any understanding of the universe. The rest thinks we are all on the same planet. But there is definitely no water on Crematoria. Griff does not seems phased by this. He says that this ship is strange and many strange things happen here. Catching people from different planets seems to be normal here.
Meeting The Enforcer
Griff hesitantly guided us higher and higher through the decks. Shortly before a big door it stopped and pleaded to go back down, but Moxmen stopped him and we took it with us. The room we entered hat big iron bars and a lot of scratch marks on its walls. Before we could even think about what could do such a thing a humanoid polar bear entered the room. She asked in a rough voice what the crow does here since it is not allowed such high up in the ship. So we dismissed Griff which ran as fast as it could back to where we found it. The peculiarities of this ship are completely alien to me. What strange rules the crew operates under... The polar bear introduces herself as Nirka Gorfangnuks - the enforcer of the ship. She gives us a place to rest, some food and a quest: Restore the ships galley so that the captain can eat again. Which we find rather strange. Especially since the captains seems to feed on magical artifacts. She asks a favor of Dhovos: Speak with the captain and plead with him to cut the bond she has with this ship. Well: She needlessly is full of honor and thinks she is bound by it to the ship.
After some time she sends us even further up the ship to where the galley is supposed to be. There we find the strangest sight I will ever see in my life.
Earning Our Keep On The Ship
Clay golems fight with living furniture. And they completely ignore us.
Moxmen tries to separate one golem from a vase, but this does not stop them in the slightest. I did not even seem to bother them. They just get right back to fighting each other. And I thought the crows act completely insane...
Well this lets us only one way to proceed: Ignore the fighting and continue to explore this deck of the ship. I take over Moxmens lamp in order to for him to be steeled for whatever we could find. In the next rooms we find cannons - like in old pirate ships - and some other kind of strange weapons. The last room of this corridor opens up to a huge workshop where a lot of golems shuffle coal into ovens.
Finding The Maker Of The Golems
In the workshop we find a dwarf that introduces himself as Alephe, the maker of the golems. He refers to them as a extension of himself. Is he an android with a hive mind? To understand anything on this ship is really fruitless; Griff was right about that.
Alephe tells us about a problem he has: His golems are not allowed in the galley anymore and now they run out of food. They can eat anything organic, but most of the time they eat potatoes. Rillia suggests we could feed them the dead crows in the lower decks, but Alephe tells us that this is not about the food; it is about principle. His golems should be allowed to eat in the galley. Androids with eating principles ... They are just machines; feed them where ever ... He continues that this is the cause of the fight between his golems and the living furniture we observed earlier.
We shall go to the other side of the deck to his sister Alepha the cook. She shall allow his golems to eat in the galley again. Well that should be easy. So off we go.
The Brink Of Death At The Hand Of Furniture
Back in the hallways the golems let us pass without any problem. Near the stairs, in the middle of the deck we see the remains of the battle. Crumbled brittle golem parts and broken furniture fill the floor. Since nothing is stopping us we proceed further to the aft (?) of the ship to the galley. But just behind the next door we get jumped by angry furniture.
The android opened the door and Dhovos, Moxmen and Rillia went through; slipping right past me. Without holding back they hit, shot and tridented (?) small and big furniture. After they went, I passed through the door and blasted a dresser to ashes. But there seems to be no end to the furniture. Even more is coming from left, right and center. They try to bite and burn Dhovos, but he is safe in his armor. Moxmen hits multiple furniture with his hands, but is getting ignored. The only one getting hit and taking bit and burn after another is Rillia. And just before she is getting down, ASCII enters the room and switches places with her; shielding her with his body. But this maneuver just makes him the next target and he gets nearly ripped apart.
Dhovos and Moxmen end the fight. But this one was harder than any other before. While Dhovos and Rillia brought ASCII back to Alephe, so that he could repair ASCII, Moxmen and I went on further into the galley.
Talking To The Master Of The Galley
There we found a sturdy, fat women, who introduced herself as Alepha the cook and Alephes sister. She complains that her children (while pointing to even more living furniture) have enough of golems with coal dust sitting on them and dirtying them. She went on to say that she needs coal to restore fire to her ovens so that she can cook warm meals again for the captain. This crew is absolutely dysfunctional. No one seems to be able to work together. How is this thing still operational?!
Since neither sibling wants to directly speak with each other we deliver their bickering, their demands and their concessions back and forth. Halfway through I get the urge to sink this ship. Nothing good will ever come of this. And I think no one will miss it. Even the crew does not like being here! But after uncountable rounds of back and forth they come to an agreement: The golems shower with soap before going to the galley and some blankets will be thrown over the furniture to keep it even more clean.
In the meantime Alephe has repaired ASCII and our rag tag group is finally allowed to visit the captain.Finally Meeting A Part Of The Captain
With the use of a elevator we continue to rise even further up the ship. From the outside it looked like it was longer than high, but after seeing the inside it seems so be much higher than it is long. But at this point I am too exhausted to even try to make any sense of this. My only goal now is to leave this ship. Just let it be whatever ...
When entering the captains quarters (?) we see a strange creature sitting on a long table. It introduces itself a the captain; well part of the captain. The captains seems to be some kind of fractured entity, but this one is at least talking to us. It is pleased that it can now enjoy warm meals again, but another part of it will consume the food of Alepha. Okay, whatever ...
It will let us leave at the next port. There many ships shall be that can bring us to wherever we want to go. Finally! And with some pleading - having an enforcer that is unable to enforce order on the ship is useless - it will also let Nirka free, so that she can go back home.
After a few days in a nice cabin we finally arrive in port.