Letter to Versi (#1)
My dearest Versi,
I’m not sure I am going to enjoy this journey as much as I hoped I might. All six of us woke up in a cold sweat this morning, all having experienced the same nightmare. It was so terrible, I honestly thought I might… well, I won’t recount it. There is no point worrying you. The long and short of it is we are fine, if not a little shaken.
The journey to Estoria was mostly uneventful until we met Pholon, a centaur cursed in the same way as Hippofillius, who had lost his rider and was searching for death in the bottom of a wineskin. My heart breaks for him. It must be truly awful to not only lose someone you are so close to, but then to have to count down the days until you’ll lose yourself.
I hope we can find someone for him; if not perhaps one of us can… ah, what do they call it? ‘Bond’ with him? But I worry that sort of arrangement would upset Hippofilius, even if it is the only way to save Pholon’s life. In any case, our current hope is that by helping Pythor, we might be able to secure help for him in return.
Oh Gods, Pythor. He might also be accused of searching for death in the bottom of a wineskin: though I’d wager it would take a fair sight more of it to do it. It would seem the Order of Sydon has demanded one of his daughters as a sacrifice before the full moon, and he is already in mourning for her. We’re going to try and help, though I don’t know exactly what we’ll do.
He is certainly a character though: I’m sure you’ll have met him, and I suspect you understand what I mean. The way he flipped between worrying for his daughter and flirting, or what I imagine he thinks of as flirting, was a little disconcerting. I’ll think I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and blame the drink. Although that might be considered a problem all on its own.
Then there is the Dragon Horn. It was stolen before we even reached Estoria! Aesop, who looks after the Dragon Shrine, showed us around and let us take a look at where it was taken from. He was also kind enough to recount some of what he knew about the Dragonlords, even though it seemed like the memories were painful for him. I honestly felt a little cruel making him relive them.
Thylea is full of problems Versi. It has been a long time since my heart has felt so heavy. I know Sirens are prone to sorrow, but it always seemed so fleeting in your company. I should really thank you for shielding me from the truth of the world for so long.
Although Theo wouldn’t agree with me. We had a rather unpleasant conversation today where he decided to pick apart our relationship and accuse you of, well… I’m not even sure he quite knew.
I don’t mind the questions, even if I can’t answer them: my new companions certainly have the right to be curious about the person they are travelling with. But to turn around and insult us by implying that you have had me forcibly locked away all this time? And then to just outright ignore me when I tried to explain that it has always been my choice to stay with you? I’m not sure he understood how hurtful he was being. He barely knows me; barely knows us! Yet he sees fit to criticize you and belittle me, as if I am some helpless child in need of saving. Like I am too young and stupid to make my own decisions. I mean, by the Gods, I’m probably older than him!
I do know I am being unfair. After all, forgetting your past completely must seem like a rather steep price to pay for someone that seems to find his own memories so precious. But I really think his own troubles and fears cloud his judgement. He sees the gaps in my memory as something that needs to be fixed, rather than for what it truly is: a solution to a problem. I suppose he just can’t fathom that I’d choose a life of happiness and love over the heartbreak that lies in my past.
Luckily Braz put an end to our ‘discussion’ before it escalated any further. I think he thought I was getting upset. And I was.Terribly so. I don’t know if he, or any of others really, share Theo’s misgivings, but I’m thankful Braz stepped in. For all he looks like a warrior, you don’t have to be around him long to realise his brawn masks a kind heart.
It might upset me to hear them so distrustful of you, but I need to remember that I have the benefit of knowing you and they don’t. I love you and I trust you. I know you would have never let me give up my past if it was not necessary. And, although I cannot speak to the good memories I have lost (for I know I must have had some), I know I would not give up what I have now for anything. Hopefully I can show them that over time.
That isn’t to say that today hasn’t tested my curiosity. It seems that 500 years isn’t quite long enough to be completely forgotten, even if it was long enough for me to forget. Both Aesop and Pythor knew me, the old me, and I found myself at a loss of what to say to them. I apologised a lot. What else can I do when they are staring at me with a recognition I cannot match?
I think it was an awful shock to Aesop. He thought I had died alongside the Dragonlords. Yet here I am, unharmed. Even if I can’t remember, I can’t help but feel guilty. I shouldn’t be here. Why didn’t I fight alongside them Versi? Did I abandon them in their hour of need? Am I just a coward that begged you to save me?
Suddenly, I think I understand Theo’s worries just a little more.
Always and forever yours,
Calliope