[Scribbled thoughts written while waiting for Braz to get help for Garnox. The note started out as Calliope trying to compose a song about the battle they just faced - but after countless lines of striked-out, half-formed lyrics, it is clear she just gave up. There are some smudges of blood on the corners of the pages.]
I can’t do this. I’m not a hero. I’m not like the others. I’m not strong. Or fast. Or clever. I can’t fight. I just… can’t.
I tried so hard to save those fledglings. And yet all I could do was watch as that poor boy threw himself off that bridge. I was too far away. I couldn’t reach him. I failed him, just like I failed my flock. Just like I will fail Thylea.
Why has Fate chosen me? It should be someone else. It needs to be someone else. I can’t do this again. Gods, I couldn’t even do it the first time!
The woman in my dreams, in my memories… that Calliope was stronger than I am. More confident. More eloquent. And she was fighting alongside an army. But she still failed.
What if it is nothing but hubris to think it is going to be different this time?