We begin our tale with a band of heroes. An unlikely crew, made up of a dead Goblin, a Fox, a Bear, a Human? and a Slime girl. They had journeyed forth together, under the Adventurer’s guild’s request to ascertain the reason behind a merchant man’s misfortunes. A curse? A haunting? A Leprechaun disguising himself as a Squirrel in a misguided attempt to take care of the merchant? Probably not that last one... Right?
Weeell, the group set out, set out on their way
Their task to uncover the Merchant man’s plague
The poor merchant man, had an ill-fated curse
Or assumed, by the man, twas’ the case at first
Well, some time passed, clear roads were ahead
Till the friends found themselves in an ambush led
By a “fierce” group of Gnolls, twer’ intend on bledshed
But the Fox had different idea planned instead
“Hold it right there!” the Fox did cry out
“You goons see this Bear!?” they did, with no doubt
“His name’s Adelbert, the slayer of Gnolls!”
“And he’s ended many hundreds of other Gnoll souls!"
With the boom of forged thunder, and the flash of fake lightening!
The Gnolls tucked their tails and they ran, oh so frightening!
And the Mighty Bear gave them his mightiest roar!
And the Gnolls weren’t a problem for them anymore!
Well, after that victory it should have been clear sailing for a while, but the heroes weren’t out of the woods yet. In fact, one of their members decided the easiest way out of the woods was to burn the woods down! Who can say why he did what he did, scholars will speculate for years to come. Perhaps he was dropped on his head as a wee Goblin? Perhaps in some way he thought he was being helpful. Or perhaps he just wanted to see the world burn. No one may ever know, but next thing they knew, the heroes were running away from a forest fire!
Run away, run away, from the heat and the flame!
The dumb Goblin earned the gorups ire and blame!
But time they had not, to quarrel or shout
For not one of them there could put the blaze out!
Weell, after many hours of running, and a near death experience, the group needed badly to rest. They decided that they’d make camp for the night, and enjoy themselves another one of Jack’s soups. As you might imagine, previous experience had caused the group to be weary of such a meal, but it turned out to be quite tasty and not at all life altering! Huzzah! It was unfortunate, then, that they did not get to enjoy their soup victory for long. Shortly after sleeping, as the Human? was gathering firewood, the heroes were awoken by terrible shouting. As it turns out, the firewood that the Human? had gathered was infected with spores! Blinding spores! And they’d gotten all over the Human!?
There were spores in his eyes and his mouth and his ears!
And he hacked and he coughed, and shed many tears
After this misfortune, there was one thing clear to his peers
The Human(?) would probably hate wood for years!
Luckily for the group, the Merchant man had a cure for that too. What a strange coincidence! How fortunate! Wow, imagine that! That was when it all came together for the heroes. The connection was made. The only thing that Jack... I mean, the merchant man, had been cursed with all along was a caring friend! For the Squirrel he had adopted years prior had been his friend in disguise all along! A friend who looked oddly like a leprechaun... And was horribly misguided. Like, this guy caused the merchant man so much trouble. Sheesh.
Well, Fee fiddle fie, yes fee fiddle fum
The merchant man’s troubles were not a curse from!
Oh dee diddy day, his friend was so dumb
The end of this story has finally come!
The end.