Darro had been subdued since returning to Dantooine, largely keeping to himself as much as possible. He went through the motions as usual, attending lessons and practice as he always did, but there was a hollowness to his characteristic smile. There didn’t seem to be as much energy behind them as there once had been.
Cade was away on a mission. The same went for his mothers, Kahra and Selvanie. They were out there in the galaxy, being the heroic Jedi Knights he knew they were. It was how he should be too, but there had been nothing heroic about what had happened on his last mission. It left Darro feeling haunted.
Returning home at the end of the day, he’d say goodnight to his adoptive sister, Orsa, before shutting himself into his room. Removing his belt and setting his lightsaber on the far side of the room, Darro would sit on the edge of his cot and lose himself in his thoughts.
He knew that people would point to his actions with Farr where he stopped his fellow learner from murdering that man, as an accomplishment. Darro did see it as one, to an extent, and knew it was a sign that others listened to what he had to say. But should they?
All Darro could think of was the vision of Dantooine in flames and the sight of Nerreer and Jun atop a pile of corpses. The images still haunted him many days later. Perhaps the Jedi had forestalled this possible future by preventing the Zygerrians from following through on their threat to attack Dantooine, but Darro wasn’t so certain. He wondered if the Force was trying to tell him of the danger that Nerrerr and Jun posed to them all. Would they be safe while they were still at large?
What’s more, Darro felt like he had failed his first true encounter with the Dark Side. Nerrerr had used the Force to prey upon his mind, to use his fears to make Darro see something that wasn’t there and almost caused him to strike a fellow Jedi. His swing had missed, thank the Light, but what if it hadn’t? How could he have looked Sestri in the eye ever again if he had harmed her? How could anyone trust him in a dangerous situation?
And he shouldn’t have failed. No one else had. He had been learning the ways of the Force longer than everyone but perhaps Farr but it had been he who had succumbed to Nerrerr’s power. It ate at Darro even when he knew it shouldn’t. How could he, who so many saw as a model of a Jedi, have been the one to fail that test? It didn’t make sense and, he feared, spoke to a greater failing within him.
With a snarl of frustration, Darro dropped his face into his hands and closed his eyes. He let the anger fade back, slowing his breathing to calm himself down. He’d failed, yes, but he would not do so again. He would redouble his training, focusing on those areas where he felt weakest. When he faced this sort of trial again, he would not be found wanting.