Oceanykan Rules Football, or simply Footy, is Oceanyka’s national sport, blood rite, and unofficial preferred method of dispute resolution. While loosely descended from its pre-Federation predecessor, the modern game has evolved into something uniquely and violently Oceanykan: an organised spectacle of ritualised violence often described as a cross between rugby, medieval melee, and guerrilla warfare.
At its core, the sport features two teams of twelve competing on a grassy oval for control of a large leather ball, attempting to kick it between upright posts while surviving a ceaseless onslaught of tackles, ambushes, bludgeonings, and random quarterly rule changes. The standard match consists of four quarters, each lasting 20 minutes. Each team is allowed to have up to 24 reservists, which they may call upon the field to substitute an injured team member. These substitutions can only be done at the end of a quarter, which makes "crippling the enemy team's legs" a viable strategy to maximise point wins in a quarter. In a good match, all of them will participate, and most of the team's members will be beaten to a pulp. Fun for the whole family!
Players are allowed to wear any item of clothing or armour, as long as their team's colours are displayed, often this results in the use of medieval plate, riot gear, or military equipment. Similarly, the League allows each player to bring one Melee 🪓 weapon, as long as it is not "explicitly designed to kill", a very loose and often-contested definition that results in players bringing bats, flails, maces, tree trunks, and at least once a car door into the field. Successful players typically retire by their early thirties or upon the loss of a second limb. Doping is allowed, though players must be careful not to overdose in the middle of a game, as it could cost their team the match.
Each match features a Random Rule, drawn via live lottery before the third quarter, which becomes the dreadful Chaos Quarter. These rules may be mild ("Ball may only be carried with elbows", "All players are soaked in baby oil") or catastrophic ("Introduction of a roaming bull", "Live baby replaces the ball", "Worst player gets shot"). No two games are the same, and surviving the Chaos Quarter is often more important than winning the match.
In Oceanyka, Footy is more than a sport: it is a proxy for war, a diplomatic tool, and a source of national identity. Militia groups, universities, unions, and even government ministries field their own teams. Local derbies between urban boroughs can paralyse entire cities, while inter-sovereignty finals have been known to spark small-scale armed conflicts. Match-fixing is traditionally punished by summary execution, while legendary players are canonised in their place of origin, sometimes literally.
The sport is regulated by the Oceanykan Rules Football League (ORFL), a notoriously corrupt and inefficient governing body headquartered in the Bloodbowl, Cestlep's biggest stadium. Rulebooks are updated semi-weekly and total over 2,700 pages, many of which contradict each other. Numerous "ORF scholars" have emerged over the years claiming to have read, and understood, the totality of the ORFL rulebook, but most fans agree that this is impossible. Even if it wasn't, it would "contradict the spirit of the game".
During the mid-1960s, the University of Cestlep's "Killer Koalas" would defend their place as Oceanyka's best football team against an endless number of old-schoolers and newcomers.