If it was possible to kick myself straight into the dick, I doubt I would have embarassed myself less in that train car. First with getting flustered about Nerys just asking questions that I could have played off easily instead of making it painfully obvious. Then with just...failing miserably with talking to that woman. I should be good at this. I should be able to just talk with people, be all funny and charming. I can be sometimes. It's way easier as Trixie but...she's a character, all my best parts shining and being loud and satirical and singing about Boranel being unkillable or how the Tain Gala is just a playground fight in expensive dresses. Kinda regret not going when I was invited that one time but the guy who asked me to go along wanted Trixie to attend, not me. Even then it was much more of a "showing off how rich he is" sort of thing than an attempt at a date. Still...got some material out of it, I suppose...
I really need to apologise to Nerys. I already owed them a favour in my mind and that was...definitely escalated to at least three. What can I even get them that would cover this? They're nice. A bit nosey, maybe, but their heart is in the right place. They kind of remind me of Luca but as if Luca was more...the right word fails me. But I suppose happy-go-lucky? Naive, perhaps? They don't quite fit but it's the best I can surmise. And well...Luca knows a lot about me. Not everything, a lot of my life has been pretty dull but she likes to find out what I'm doing. Amuses her, I guess. Can't imagine how I acted was all that entertaining...or maybe she likes the messy emotional shit. Anyway...Nerysdeth. I know I thought about books and outfits but maybe they would like something more...personal? An honest conversation, no holds barred, no cringing or dodging the subject. Or...I could take them out to that nice Q'Barran fusion place down in Downstairs. Or something.
Of course I bumped into Damien on the way out. Cherry on the cake. Fantastic. It must be so obvious, I swear you could use my face as a lighthouse beacon. Or...maybe he just thinks I am just riddled with social anxiety and it just so happens to manifest near his zone. (I'm sure there's something funnier I could use there but I can't see it just now). He always seems to know how to play off a faux pas, how to charm and be sweet and be that social butterfly. It is fascinating how well put together he is all the time to. Even when we were in that cave what feels like a thousand years ago, he still seemed aetheral even when sick. He looks not a hair out of place, even now! Even though I was up most of the night practising necromancy and Ruckus was similarly up half the night making things.
Honestly as far as a room mate goes, Ruckus seems to be a good one. We seem to have a similar lack of sleep, both eager to excel in our chosen field... it is a crime that he hasn't been to university as the stuff he's managed to make in an abandoned shed with no food(?) beats some of the things I've seen come off the House Cannith assembly. I am not sure if he would even want to go to university - I am not sure what they would be able to teach him. I suppose it would be good to see what he can go with a full stomach and a decent place to sleep. Maybe he will stop working himself into an early goblin grave.
Although at this rate, I think Yashira will end up there first. Although not in a goblin one, obviously but a nice, tastefully decorated half elf one. Something about this case has really got her wound up. I have my theories regarding that but I don't want to assume anything. One man's crush can be another's furious hatred. And sometimes it's both. But I've seen flashes of it before, that steel that's wrapped in that impeccable tailoring. Sometimes Yash is Yash, a bit more relaxed and soft and happy to be around people. And sometimes she is Yashira, the half elf here to make her point and will be damned if anyone in Eberron or Khyber will stop her. She has her reasons, that hardline pragmatism, I am sure of it but I don't know.
...I miss Ban being around. I hope he's having fun, wherever he is and not trying to stop a zoanthropic (is that how you spell it? I really need a dictionary) apocalypse. But it's dinner time and I am fucking starving. Ruckus ate all the pancakes this morning and he growled at me when I tried to get one. I need to get a pancake recipe from Ban when we're back in Sharn (assuming the world hasn't fucking ended I guess).