After helping Phandalin further we actually made it to Thundertree and found the wizard. And believe it or not he new what I am. A kalashtar. The spirit world I found myself in before is were part of me is from. Inside me is a spirit, it has been there all the time, guiding me. It is the reason I never felt alone. I confess, I always hoped it was my parents watching over me, even though I new it was unlikely but even it's not them I feel calm. The spirits that live in the dream realm are looking for me, looking for the spirit within me and it almost got my companions in dangeour. They had to face their gratest nightmares and I am so sorry for that. But they are still with me, they didn't leave me behind or ask me to leave. I hope this knowledge about what I am will help me control my powers in the future and I can still feel them growing stronger.
I have been away from the village I grew up in for quite some time now. So much has happened I decided to start writing this journal to sort all my thoughts and also remember the things I learn. On my travel I heard rumors about a wizard living in a town called Phandalin. I think a wizard might know what my powers are. On my way to Phandalin I meet other travelers and it so happened that we helped each other in a fight against orcs and then in Phandalin we were asked to help the town against a dragon. Can you believe it, a real dragon! If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes I would not have believed it. I feel my powers growing faster than ever. We were sent to find to dwarven brothers and we did find them in an old ruin of a dwarven city. There were some monsters in there and when I tried to use my powers on one of them it much have backfired and suddenly I was flying in this weird world in a reckless speed. I don’t know for how long but I saw myself getting closer and closer to some kind of construction and would crash into it if I did not stop, and just then I realized I could use my thoughts to control myself in this world. Suddenly I was just motionless in this strange void. Then I saw this green light calling to me. I have seen it before and it has always helped me, I tried making my way to it but then this hideous creature showed up. It talked to me. As if it new me. It said: “You come to Dal Quor of your own volition… you are arrogant and foolish, and you shall soon be a slave of the Dreaming Dark.” The place I found myself in must be called Dal Quor. Somehow I still managed to get to that crystal and as soon as I touched it, I was back. I was in the “real” world again, tangled in some plant. The party I was travelling were there but something happened to them when I got back. They had found a crystal in the ruins before they left and somehow, I came out of it, as if I’ve been inside the crystal. That is insane. Luckily the strange things that happened when I got back disappeared after a while.
We moved on to a place called Gnomegarde, where two gnome kings rule. That place was so weird, the gnomes were weird and the whole place was of magic and that magic was weird. It was chaotic just as mine can be. The used magic through a spellbook and got to try to use it and actually managed to cast a spell through that book that allowed me to see all magic around me. I could even see it in myself, it’s as if I am made of magic in a way, it is just everywhere in me. One member of our party, a humanoid called a Tabaxi, he can also use magic. But when I looked at him I saw the magic was sort of concentrated to something around his neck, it wasn’t in him as it is in me. I have also learned that magic can be used in many ways and also the other members of our party seem to be able to do some kind of magic even though it is not within their entire being as it seems to be in me. I don’t know if the magic in that place affected me in anyway but after spending a day and night there, I woke up feeling sort of stronger than before. I looked at my hands and they sort shifted in appearance, it feels as if I can control my own appearance and change it somehow. I don’t know if I dare try it. What if I can’t change back to myself again?
Back in Phandalin again we all decided to stay there and help them with the dragon as best we can. There is a healer living outside of the village but coming to help and she has taught me more about herbs and how to create my own medicines. That can be very helpful to me if we were to leave far away unable to restock. I also talked to Pine, the Tabaxi, about the magic I had seen. He explained to me that the magic he uses is sort of a gift from a deity. He has a pendant around his neck, allowing him to focus and use that magic. Maybe something like that can help me get control of my powers! The crystal we found in the ruins are still calling to me. I am afraid to touch it, if it would send me to that place again. But still, it has this green light that is reassuring, and I feel like maybe this crystal could somehow help me use my magic in some way. I have also learned that I wizard has been in Phandalin but moved on to an old ruin north of Phandalin called Thundertree. I want to go there to see if I can find him and maybe he can tell me more. I don’t know if I could leave this town and this group of people that actually don’t seem to be afraid of me, even though my magic affected them to. It is nice to somehow feel wanted or at least not looked upon with fear and hate. Maybe they would go with me?