1. Journals

Journal entry 04 - Wisdom in knowing what you do not know

It has been many years since I spent time amongst others for this many days, certainly this is the longest outside of the mountains in people's company.  No matter the hardships, I miss the rugged beauty of the snowy peaks I have spent my adult life traversing.  There are dangers, of course, but ones I am knowledgeable to deal with or avoid.  Nothing like my time down here, in the valleys and forests.

I look on my notes of Shadow of the Pride's journey here, ones I thought fanciful when I first heard them, and found them to be far more likely to be truth than not.  The land here is beset by such random chaotic forces, magics, hostile peoples, and dangers, that each day brings with it new experiences of ways to perish than I ever thought I would be witness to, nevermind them happening to me.  

It was giant bugs yesterday.  Lured by little figurines I found in a burned out house.  I managed to destroy them, rendering the bulk of the creatures back to their normal location elsewhere in the forest, but not before I had been rendered unconscious from the damage undertaken by them.  I can only say that I am lucky to be with a group who are skilled in helping to stabilise and heal, and willing to do so.  

Luck is perhaps not the right word, for it is far more a mutual need that keeps the group together.  I have found myself having to take a more front-line position while in combat in order to protect others, and it is not my natural skill.  I am used to finding enemies from afar, and dealing with them from there before they get to me, and this new learning, forced as it is by circumstances, is undoubtedly why I have struggled so greatly.  

Is this why I have still felt no direct pull to return to the mountains?  Is such training what keeps my steps from moving on?  I am so used to feeling the pull, the nudge towards one place or another, that it is unsettling to be left without it for so long.  

I rest tonight in the fortified lodge, resigned that tomorrow will likely bring new experiences that remind me how little I know outside the mountains.