This is the first time since that time in Phandalin that I have felt anger. It is not so encompassing, but it smoulders in me, despite Idris's apologies.
In a time critical situation to remove a threat we were sent to deal with, he physically stopped Siax from shooting, and then restrained and covered an enemy whose skills included teleportation, rather than killing her. His impractical ethics of being friends with everyone is becoming inconvenient, for it nearly had both Zenari and Falcon killed, and certainly put us all at a major disadvantage in what should have been a relatively simple encounter that I had managed to give us all tactical superiority in before he cast that to the wind. I ended up unconscious and could very well have been dead if not for the magical properties in my armour.
He has apologised, as I said, but I do not know that I believe anything will change because of it. He has mentioned before we left Axeholm that his guide had allowed him to reaffirm an altered oath, to attempt peace and harmony with others, or something to that effect. We are not in a situation where his morals and hopes of everyone skipping together through meadows hand-in-hand is practical or even remotely likely. He is putting all of our lives at risk by attempting it. Not even the cubs of my clan would be so impractical as Idris has been today. Perhaps his God likes him idealistic and filled with such hopes of universal friendship, but it will see our group pass beyond the mortal part of our paths for want of some sense.
I cannot afford to fail, not when there is no one else to take my place in treading the mountains to lay the dead to rest there. I can feel the call now, especially as we came from Axeholm, embedded in the mountains as it is. My temper is shorter for the irritation of having to go on these side trips, even if I can see the logic in them. I will not be able to do my task unless the dragon is defeated, for there must be a great deal of dead at its lair, and we are not ready for that battle.
I need to calm and recenter myself. We still have to hand over the conch to its owner, and no task in this land seems simple. I cannot be so utterly distracted by this anger.