I arrived at Lonepeak today, met up with the team after traveling alone with Lyrene for a while. Trip went well, but we did not talk much. Too lost in thought, I think...
Now that we're here, I have to admit I am a little frightened, standing in the middle of Black Bonfire business. So far unseen, but for how long until they realize we are here?
Leo caught up with us, also. It was nice to see him again, on better terms. I apologized to him for treating him poorly when I wasn't myself, the fool didn't blame me for any of it...
Regardless, knowing he does not hold a grudge puts me more at ease. Perhaps I can get on the other's good graces again, I hope. It has taken me a lot of strength not to run away because of the guilt, like before...
Speaking of, I saw her again. She was in Winterport with the wizard. Baltor, was it? Either way, I wonder what she is doing here.
I didn't have it in me to talk to her. I had the opportunity, but I just froze. Turned my back. Again.
Then again, what would I even say to her? After all this time? That I want to apologize? Apologize for exposing our house, or insulting her family, or insulting her by acting out of control? Apologize for running away like a scared dog when things turned to shit? For... confessing to her?
I'm honestly not even sure if those feelings still hold true. I might even resent her.
Oh my sands, I might even resent her...