Ramblings of Rowena "Rowan" Faolan

This trip wasn't supposed to be a big deal.

Detour to Hamlin for supplies that cannae be found round the Woods. Find any leads on that fucking Pack that be evading me for.. how many years has it been now? Not worth dwelling right now. 

Then supposed to head back to Ardena, let her know I've not forgotten her like the rotten sister she must think I am. 

Dannae happen. Mother Night interfered with me life yet again.

Different way then normal. Little sprite of a thing who's apparently going to rule the kingdom has Seen that I'm to be some Hero. 

Hah!

Duc De Ange REALLY dannae like that! Almost makes this whole pile worth it to piss off that speciest arse. 

Not too surprised at the other crowns reactions, least if it be just me as the Hero. These other who been roped into being Heroes ain't me people though, so why...? Dannae make sense that a King Killer, prisoner, an thief would get the same reactions, but I suppose we'll see. Mayhap they love elves much as they love mine.

I don' like this. I don' like being leashed. I take a job, I do a job, should be enough.

But now Ardena be wrapped up in it. 

On paper, this deal what be best for her. Away from memories of the attack. Away from the path where we been found before. Under guard of the most respected of all Kingdoms, who never shown issue with us.

An yet.. I cannae help but feel I'm offering up me own hostage.

I'm so sorry I keep failing you, Ardena.

At least this group o Heroes be its own entertainment. By the Gods they be hilarious.

A horny virgin King Killer.

A desperate "not-thief" reeking o loss an grief.

One so small, but by far not prey, despite appearances.

And I, a guide for the lot in lands not yet traveled by me feet.

Us meant to be Heroes to stop a naught understood sickness and save the kingdoms.

This shall be great.

Fireballs.

Someone saw fit to give a child, who been in prison for only she know how long, for crime only she know, a Necklace o Fireballs. 

I get the point o kitting us out, give us some leverage on this joke o a venture funded by Crown and endorsed by Mother Night, but giving a child with OBVIOUS grievances against the living at large a weapon o mass destruction seems a bit much.

Welp, at least there already be a target in her eyes (poor Dalton), an the survivors will still be paid in event o the others death an overall mission failure. Hollie aught be happy with that.

That young un remind me more an more o Ardena each time I see her. 

Surely that won't come back to bite me (heh).

O which, the Seer Sprite tells me the caravan sent to retrieve Ardena have arrived an spoke to her without any bloodletting. Thank Mother Night for Thora getting sense in that child's head. Last I need be the court o Hamlin turning against us as well. Anja says me letter I sent along made the difference, but what trust can a young un have for a guardian that never be around? 

But there was no blood let, an she be arriving the same day we leave. Supposedly Ravena an the Mists won't be giving no trouble due to political shite. I can only wait an see it to be true. Or not. I hate to have to trouble them if they did decide to interfere.

Anja offered to delay our leave so I may see her. That would be greedy o me, with so much on the line. And bring attention to Ardena. It be too dangerous. I want it so badly, to pretend I can give her a safe home. 

Naught to be done about that for now. Just need to wait for the promised Far Speech message from the mages. 

Now, I need to figure out how to be guide to a group that NEVER been traveling in them lives, save for a sexually repressed one with a death wish who been in prison the last five years. At least it be slightly more familiar territory, and the crown be covering the cost of buying double (or triple) me usual supplies to cover for this lot. And for the furry little unknown hanging about. Seems to be friend to the child, so best be ready to care for that as well. 

I've got a job to do, after all.

Nix be very much Not Okay.

Which we already known from the pup being in prison an general appearance o having grievances with the living at large, but seeing her home town REALLY drive it home. 

Everything. Every once breathing entity. All o it dead, or undead.

It seems to have happened four years ago, which also seem to be about the same time the wee one been in prison.

She cannae hardly be a legal adult now. 

She. Was. A. Childe. Then.

By the gods, she must have been around the age Ardena be now. 

Not much younger than I

Whatever it be that happened, it be too heavy for a young mind to handle alone. And it very much sounds like she were alone.

She took a locket from one o the undeads we killed. Later found her crying against Hollie while holding it. Despite her denials when finding it an now, obviously it be something very important. But Hollie need not have said anything. I won't pry. If she ever want, I have very good listening ears, warm hugs, good snacks. Can even take a hit or two if she need to vent out the anger at the world. It wouldn't be the first time

Least for now, she seem good with whatever distraction Hollie be giving her. Lessons in how to make others lives be harder for her own amusement, no doubt. Mother Night, that woman infuriates me. Not that she be a bad one, she's not, but me living will be impossible if she keep this up! If I survive this Hero business, then going back to me guide and guild work be all I have. I NEED a good reputation to keep it, an one dannae get that by robbing their bloody employers! If she keep this up, I be ending up in me own guild's bounty book. 

Wait, Dalton's no longer by the caravan. Where he be off to now? Great, just what I need. Bloody herding cats, this is.

I cannae help but feel we're being set up.

Dannae yet know by who, but something not adding up right.

Afore we left the temple, Dalton's Lady Superior (apparently who he went talking to last night) came out talking about Hamlin having shitty cartographers an her having better routes for us. Saying the route given by Hamlin would send us up the mountains into freezing death.

Except, Anja has the Sight, an told us VERY clearly to pack for freezing weather, even though it weren't part o the travel plan. Even got the snow cleats in me bag, ready for meself and the lasses.

This route the Lady be giving us, it sent us straight into wolf hunting territory, with active bounties on.

10 gp for wolf

30 gp for shifter

100 gp for werewolf.

By order of Duc de Ange.

He KNOW we coming, an he damn well seem to know I be something wolf related, going by his reaction at our introduction. An I still dannae know how he know whatever he know.

Were the notices already up, afore he knew o us coming? After? Either way he made it a nasty surprise, an seems damn set to see me dead afore we get to the capital o Sulle ser Liore, Hamlin's orders be damned.

An in my stupidity, I panicked an announced to the invaders an local alike that there be a shifter here. So fucking stupid. One bad hit in unfortunate position among enemies, an I go an panic shift for that little bit o comfort. I know better!

Could even passive acceptance effect me so much? Finding the one person in Sulle ser Liore willing to say fuck all an host us without even checking, in the middle o a wolf hunt? Having Hollie and Dalton making escape plans for me? Even Nix showed concern that Anja may be setting me up with the trip to Sulle ser Liore at all. It's not been long though. We must wait and see.

But it may be for naught, if Dalton get me killed with his not wanting to kill. It was me own stupidity to shift in the first place, but damned if he dannae let half the ones who saw just walk away! No idea what he said to them other Akhiilors afore asking me not to hit them, but he did seem genuinely upset bout whatever it be. An he did manage to get three to cease attacks. Something else be going on that I dannae understand yet, an that NEEDS to change IMMEDIATELY. 

After this last fight, I might needs adjust me opinion of Hollie being the most infuriating. She be the most effective of us all by the end o it, even to dealing with the situation with the caged wee one and the lying filth called "mother." It does make more sense after the revelation that she be a mother. But then why the fuck she be here instead o with them? She's not old enough for them to be grown an alone. Another thing not adding up.

In happier news, I finally met the little friend-prey that came with Nix! They be named Whisper, an Nix look so happy as I ever seen her when interacting them, an I want her to have this little friend forever. No one will touch them if I have any say o it.

Found the family o that Granny that helped us out afore. They'd not been eaten by wolves, but only by luck o me deciding to return to an old campsite. Whole lot of them stuck up a tree by a pack o dire wolves, chomping an hungry.

This had been me safe place, where I could camp down without fuss in me travels. An now more kids were on the verge o being ripped apart by wolves somewhere that should o been safe. 

I could have stopped to think, been calmer, but I was just so angry, an threats o violence are the easy answer.

They was hungry. A ration o meat would have done just as well, maybe even got allies. But I fucked up at the threat to the kids.

Turns out Hollie don't take well to kids being threatened either, with good reason. Loosing family be hard enough, but her own pups! Fuck! Even the thought o loosing Ardena now...

Nahala an Ozrius. Tiefling kids, boy an girl, not yet in double digits.

Kristoff confirmed they're alive, passing between slavers.

Keep an ear for more details.

 Nix, at least, can keep level head. "Talk to them, you're one o their kind," indeed. She was able to talk them down even without words. Got the touch an affection o the leader, an the rest by extension. Me heart twisted in me breast at the sight o her with the wolves. Wish I knew if it was from joy o her acceptance with them, or envy.

They'd not come back after, an I'm sure her respect o them was to thank. The wee one's got a touch with the beasts.

I've only another pelt to line me cold bed.

Still, the ones we meant to save be saved, an the pack leader gave no shits. Best possible outcome, really.

The "opening up" that followed were even less fun, but knowing each other be NEEDED for this to work. Whatever "this" actually be. Anyroad, now we know to keep an eye for Hollie's pups, Nix still be saying jack shit o anything, an there now be a better understanding o what Dalton can and cannot fight. Sort of. Creatures be fine to fight. Sentients which may be "saved" (the fuck does that mean?), not so fightable. Not sure where that leaves were-beings. Chances are we be seeing some sooner than later.

Need to figure a way for Dalton to help by restraining or knocking them out.

Most efficiency for least risk to anyone's well-being.

Afore we left the clearing, an old rotted body were found with gold an, luck would have it, a Ring o Mind Shielding. A simple trinket, found by chance, that makes normal people just.. not see a shifter in me. Calling me Hunter respectfully, not begrudging me the title. Offering me a seat at a table, on a public street. Buying me food. Even these fellows stuck with me dannae give a glace when a friendly ex Hunter (never met afore) explained the history o wolves o Marchen in depth (though none o them seemed to be getting it, either).

Is this what being human be like, an not just passing?

Met a cursed werewolf who greeted me as “sister.” That struck a nerve. He said it warily, not sure I actually counted as one o them. It hurt, being rejected as a sister. But, a fair reaction. They opened a welcome to me, me alone, an I went an rejected for the sake o staying with a group o Nons. Outsiders. People I were stuck with by Mother Night’s whim, ironically enough. Humans an such dannae belong among wolves, an by extension, neither did I. What would have happened if I’d gone with them, as offered?

It dannae help that people dannae even TRY to understand us them.

People keep getting them confused, Shifters as werewolves an wolves as Shifters. They ain’t the same. Even the wolf who greeted me as “sister,” while being threatened by the Duc as they was discussing “healing” him, kept being called as Shifter. But Shifters cannae be “cured.” Only cursed werewolves can be.

Shifters always be stuck as in-between. Never able to be fully one or the other. Not human or wolf. Shifters be born, not made.

There. Be. A. DIFFERENCE!

All this argument about Shifters an wolves being evil, an no one knows the fucking difference. Ye cannae even say either specific one be evil either. Ye just cannae! It be the same bullshit as saying all elves are evil, when anyone taking even a glance at Dalton can see he be too much o a sad sap for any such label. Hollie? A pain in me ass, for sure, but not evil. Especially not when kids be involved. Nix… we be working on it. Baby steps. (Watching those rats eat people in seconds be giving anyone nightmares, not just me. At least they leave only bones.)

People only see what they want to see. As the Duc did with Vissa. Dannae question where she come from, who she be, saw nothing but a pretty face and assumed the rest. People not willing to learn about others around them, only caring about their own opinions. Even when it were revealed his own niece had fallen for a cursed Bear-Beast, he could only believe she be cursed herself. That there be no way she could have loved such a creature o her own accord. Who possibly could love an evil animal, after all?

In the end, Aurielle and the Bear-Beast got their happy ending. The villain was brought down (in silvered manacles, no less), the people turned to their side, and a loving kiss broke the curse and turned Beast to Human.

It always be the same. The Mighty Hunter triumphs over the big bad beastie, an the people cheer. An when the big bad beastie were returned to being one o their own, they threw a party.

An when they found out one o those Mighty Hunter were a Beastie themself, and incurable on top o that, well, time to get a new mob together.

An then we got chased out to a place where, guess what? Go on. All the citizens be half-animal! All because some druid got lonely an figured trying to make some animals more human were the way to go. Nevermind all the half-animal types out there struggling to keep a home out there already. An then they ditched the lot to figure it out on their own! 

Well sort o. They be Called to help with the Briar Wall, it seems. Still, I’m willing to bet they dannae even bother with Speak with Animals before turning the lot. And all prey animals, besides. Funny enough, they want nothing to do with predator-types either. Only one in the whole lot, a wolf, an they getting fussy about them staying in one room too long ‘cause they curious about the newcomers. 

At least I got ear pets out o this whole ordeal. Nix give wonderful ear pets. Especially after that wanna be hunter who wear his ass on his face went tugging on it. A shame she passed out on the other side o the room with Hollie. Nae, I should nae be wanting affection from someone I barely know, especially someone who be forced to be here against their will. Mother Night orders an all that. Besides, Hollie be having it rough. This all too much for her, between the recently dead husband, the missing kids. And for a first time out o Hamlin, this be bizarre even by me own standards. Let them have comfort in each other.

Mayhap I had more to drink than I thought. Better wrap this up afore Dalton get back from his self-contemplation, or whatever he doing.

I had thought all this distraction with the Mother Night mission an the constant presence o these new people be enough to distract from the nightmares for a bit.

I be wrong.

Well, no, the first few nights left me too worn for such things. This lot certainly be keeping me on me toes. Fuck’s sake, privacy should nae be such a hard concept to grasp, especially for someone with two kids! Mamma certainly complained o never getting any. An yet, Hollie be completely baffled as to why she should nae be spying on our travel companions. Picking an prying at every little thing.

An yet, she shutter up like the storm doors in rain season if she slip up to show even a little glimpse o herself.

As though I be one to talk.

The nightmare remind me o that. The Woods. The screams an snarls. Everything I cannae bring myself to talk about, nae even with Ardena.

The tree stopping me afore reaching the cottage was new. Not sure if that be better or worse.

Letting anyone touch their furs also be new. Let alone sleeping in them.

Yet, Nix were so cold up in these mountains. Completely unprepared for anything outside Hamlin weather. An the cold certainly dannae do favors to bad scars. I nae seen them yet, but the way she hold herself say enough.

An she so small. She remind me so much o Ardena. Especially if Ardena had nae been so fucking lucky to escape unscathed. Physically, at least.

I could nae help but give Nix the only comfort I have. Aside from the Fiend attack, it did seem to help. An it help me get through the rest o the night, feeling the gentle breath under the fur.

Mayhap it was greedy o me, coercing Nix into their warmth and protection. Or maybe the greedy part were nae extending the same to Hollie. She just– I cannae– Allowing one be stressful enough. 

An I cannae figure out her motivations. She steal from clients readily enough. Shall she be robbing us as well, if given half a chance? I cannae risk it. Nae with them.

At least Dalton be as much a target o teasing with Hollie as with Nix now. Poor fellow, just seem to be a walking target. But this one be his own fault, deciding to go an propose to the regent o Hamlin, an then being in denial about it?? I dannae know how different these things be in Akhiilor, but with three o us an a fancy smithie telling him his gift be a wedding ring ye think he’d pick up the clue.

Maybe Hollie an Nix got a point with it though. It certainly be making me laugh instead o focusing on Remembering.