Today, "our beloved leader" proved to me that he is completely mad. While we were returning from a reconnaissance mission, Queek Headtaker spotted some Orks trying to retrieve something from the ruins. I thought it could be something useful, even if it looked small and round. But Queek shouted: "Look-look, they want to play Blood Bowl! Let’s go play with them!"
You ask what Blood Bowl is? It was a game played in the World-That-Was. It was a ritual to worship the brutal god Nuffle, and Skaven even joined those battles. Queek mentioned legendary players like Hakflem Skuttlespike, Glart Smashrip, or Skitter Stab-Stab. And how do you worship this Nuffle? By kicking a ball—often something like a severed Ork head—toward a goal post. Killing opponents is... optional.
We tried to cover the ground, but Ork Boar Boyz spotted my Doomwheel and charged it. My Mors warriors overwhelmed them, but sadly, the Orks damaged the machine before the warriors could kill them. On the other flank, my Rat Ogres and Jezzails managed to hold back more riders.
With my help, Queek managed to get near "the Ball," but a group of Ork Boyz snatched it first and kicked it toward their war-post. Queek charged into the fray, his personal guard joining the rumble. Queek yelled: "Look-look, I am just like Hakflem Skuttlespike!" ...And yes, he actually tried to play Blood Bowl instead of simply killing his opponents. His Stormvermin fought bravely, but it was not a fair fight; it was two Orks to one Skaven, instead of the proper four Skaven to one Ork! And their "beloved" master offered them no help in the struggle. Only his gnaw-beast managed to eat a few Orks.
Once again, it was up to me to save the day. I teleported Queek near the Ball, and he managed to kick it away from the Ork post. But then an Ork Champion and their Shaman rushed the Ball, so Queek charged them and kicked it even further away.
I used the tunnels to reach Ork territory because, after the slaughter of the Stormvermin, some nasty-looking Orks charged my Jezzails and got far too close to me. I reached near to the Ball and finally examined it. It was indeed something shiny, but Queek was locked in combat and more Orks were closing in.
I decided to call out to Queek: "They have obtained the Ball and secured it! The match is over-over!"
And so, we safely retreated. Perhaps next time we should bring some Eshin Assassins to be more mobile on the pitch.