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You’re stubborn, courageous, and, when provoked, a truly deadly opponent. What you definitely aren’t is furry and adorable. No! That’s not you, and you’ll butt anyone who says so to the ground! Yes, yes, you’ve got big soft eyes, and yes, maybe you’re a little bit fluffy around the edges, but that doesn’t make you cute! You’re a goat, after all. And goats are tough. You live on mountainsides, gambolling playfully through the snow… no, sorry, not gambolling playfully. Striding determinedly. That’s better, isn’t it?

Everyone knows the tales of a goat’s strength and resilience. Trolls are terrified of goats, of course. They remember what happens when you cross a goat. Or, more precisely, when you don’t let a goat cross. That’s what being a goat is all about. It’s most certainly not about winsome cuteness and about eating carrots out of someone’s hand. Although, if they are holding out a carrot, you’d be a fool not to take it, really, wouldn’t you?

Goats make excellent, doughty fighters, and canny druids. Their general grumpiness also makes them excellent clerics—if you like that kind of grumpy servant of a god who just thinks you should shut up and do what you’re told. That’s the thing about goats. They’re grumpy! Very grumpy, some of the time. But underneath the grumpiness, they’re really rather lovely, and they’re exceedingly loyal to those they choose as their friends and companions. So, the first thing to know about goats is don’t ever ever call one cute or pat them on the head. The second thing is make them your friend. You’ll never make a better one.