Island of Cursed Stuff

Gertrude, the Light Crossbow

Most people on the island and on Flotsam believe that the
genius loci of this place is a gem, the Soul of the Isle, and that
it’s somehow tied to the curse. Some say that it’s a ruby,
raw and uncut, the size of a cart. Others insist that it’s a
diamond carved to look like a beautiful woman. And there
are those who believe that the Soul of the Isle isn’t even a
gem at all.

As appealing as those ideas are, the true genius loci is a worn,
but reliable, light crossbow named Gertrude. This sentient
weapon has no qualms about “telling it like it is”, which
means she doesn’t have many friends.

Gertrude is not easy to find, and one must win her over
before she’ll willingly leave the island. Any thief who tries to
abscond with her without her permission will get an earful
and be viciously mocked until she’s returned.

Gertrude, the Light Crossbow
Residents don’t quite know what the genius loci of the Island
of Cursed Stuff is. Rumours abound, though. Most believe
that it’s a very large, very shiny, very valuable gem known as
the Soul of the Isle. Others think that the Soul of the Isle is a
dulcimer with one string that is always flat. What they all agree
on is that it’s somehow tied to the island’s bizarre curse.
In actuality, the Island of Cursed Stuff’s genius loci is a plain-
looking light crossbow. A light crossbow with a name and an
outspoken personality.
Gertrude is a sentient weapon with a wicked wit and a
sharp tongue… well, not a literal sharp tongue, more of a
metaphorical one. She doesn’t have a mouth, after all. So
how does she communicate her strong opinions and cutting
observations to those around her? Telepathically. Her verbal
barbs are inescapable and can inflict literal damage in the
form of the vicious mockery spell.
As the genius loci of a cursed island, Gertrude has quite
the affinity for the mystical. She can read and speak
every language in the known world and has an incredible
encyclopaedic knowledge of all things magical. As a result,
she gets a bonus to Arcana checks... when she’s feeling
cooperative, that is.

Gertrude, the Light Crossbow
She is a +1 light crossbow that does not
require attunement.
Language Maven. She speaks and reads every language.
Witty Weapon. She casts vicious mockery at the
wielder’s level once every round on any creature within
10 feet. In addition, her wielder must roll a d20. On a
1, Gertrude attempts to cast vicious mockery on her
wielder instead!
Arcana Checks. She gets a +7 to any Arcana checks.

From boats to thimbles, most items on this island
are sentient. They can talk, and some can even move.
It pays to be polite to everyone and everything.

Magical creations and some creatures wander the island,
lashing out at anyone they come across.

Carriages, coat trees, and all sorts of objects who were once
people roam the rolling fields called the Junk Forest, the
name they gave themselves. They gather in packs, fighting
each other for territory and dominance, trying to find the
new meaning in their new situation.
Also, for a bunch of self-exiled, self-proclaimed misfits,
this place somehow has a larger population than the
nearest village.
There are monkish objects who possess knowledge of
mysterious artefacts and powerful relics hidden among
the grassy hills. There are also families searching for their
loved ones lost to the morose pull of the forest. Adventurers
can find more than one reason to explore this sad, strange,
sinister landscape.

Deep underground, through conversational caves, past
talking torches, and beyond breathing booby traps is the
Living Lake, a subterranean body of water populated by
fortune-telling fish, gabby gondolas who used to be drow,
and a small town of drow who used to be gondolas.
Those who want to know their fates or have questions
that only a clairvoyant carp can answer make the perilous
journey into the darkness with hope in their hearts. Of
course, not all who make their way to the Living Lake want
to commune with destiny. There are many who want to
profit off it, trying to steal aquatic oracles or kill the drow
who protect those living there so that they may take over.
As a result, the drow and other inhabitants of the Living
Lake are always looking for allies to help them keep evil at
bay. The location of an incredible treasure or the uttering
of an extraordinary secret might just be the reward for
helping them.

The Repair Shop is the local infirmary with two wings
coming off the main building.
The western wing always has the pungent odour of herbs
wafting around and is where doctors, healers, and clerics
treat living creatures. The sounds of hammering, sawing,
and sanding come from the eastern wing, the side of the
infirmary where the patients are sentient objects.
Behind the Repair Shop is the Graveyard, a cemetery
with pathways that wind through headstones and
crypts. Deceased creatures and unrepairable objects lie
throughout. Most of the tombstones and decorations are
sentient and can tell one a lot about the life they’re there
to commemorate. With so many sentient objects about, the
cemetery is a surprisingly lively place, with conversations
always coming back around to death.
It’s the perfect place for those who enjoy the morbid,
macabre, and dressing in black.

The tall, spiked parapets of this fortress sway above even
the tallest trees on the island. The entire building slowly
trundles along, never staying in the same place for long.
Before the curse, the mayor of the main harbour village
was known as a nosy busybody who nevertheless had the
villagers’ best interests at his heart. Now, however, he’s a
massive building who sees his job as protecting the entire
island from any negative outside influence.
The Wandering Fortress is one of the few people on the
island who are actually happy with the curse. With his arrow
slits, boiling oil, and various tricks and traps, he can take
on anyone he deems a threat to his beloved home. Despite
his size, he’s no less a nosy busybody, but he’s a much more
dangerous one now.
To lure unsavoury characters to him, he has amassed a
fortune in treasure that he challenges any and all to try and
take from him.

No one is quite sure where all the magical creations that
ramble across the island come from. They mostly target
adventurers but will also attack residents on occasion.

D10 Roll Random Encounter
1 1d4 + 1 sets of animated armour
2 1d6 + 2 flying swords
3 1 iron golem
4 1 clay golem
5 1 stone golem
6 1 shield guardian (sentient)
7 2 mimics
8 1d4 ochre jellies
9 3 gelatinous cubes
10 1 rust monster