“Activate! Test? Oh, the lines are squiggling. Okay! Hey, it’s Vels! I was asked to give a report, and they said I could do it like this, so uh, here we are! I’m not really good at organizing my thoughts, so I’m just gonna say what happened.’
“So there I was, knee-deep in scrap, trying to fix a faulty motivator on R4-12. See, it had started doing this weird thing where- Oh? What? Start a bit later? Sure.”
“We went to Coruscant! It’s really big, and loud, and shiny. Honestly, not really my kinda place. I prefer things a bit more frontier for sure, but it was nice to visit at least. We were there on business, though. Apparently some people from the government were missing, and the security forces were afraid that Black Sun had captured them! I’ve run into them here and there. Jerks think they own the salvage lanes in the Expansion Region. Happy to teach em a lesson whenever!’
“Apparently there’s legal stuff going on to put more security in the lower levels, where gangs like Sun run things. So we hopped down to take a peak. The mission was to find out whatever we could then report back. I’m gonna admit, I sorta spaced out at this point. There’s a lot of really cool tech on Coruscant and I was wondering how to improve on the repulsor-fields that catch you if you fall off the walkways - then suddenly, we’d found ourselves stumbling onto where they had one of the hostages!”
“Well, it wasn’t part of the mission, but things change! You gotta stay flexible. We weren’t gonna pass up a chance to rescue someone, so we ran in and grabbed her, and hijacked a couple airspeeders while we were at it! I had to stand up on the back of one while we were cruising away, with a few bikers chasing after us through the streets! It was crazy dangerous! It ruled! Oh, but I made sure to anchor myself with my ascension gear, don’t worry. Safety first!”
“You know, Aryn and Darro like to pretend they’re super responsible, but they both like showin’ off more than they let on. Darro whipped out a multi-goo-gun and looked pleased as punch when he managed to web one of our tails and make him fall off his bike. Aryn, meanwhile, he took a big running leap and- Oh, wait, I wasn’t supposed to talk about this. Uhhhh, he um. Told the gangster off really sternly and the guy got sad and - wait, no, that doesn’t add up, because I used his bike later on.”
“Okay, he told the gangster off for his life of crime, then the gangster got sad and handed his bike over. Yeah. …What? Look, it’s not important. Anyways! We went into a tunnel and I almost got flung clean off, haha. So I had this foamcast canister, right? Did you know that you can make em into improvised explosives with just a bit of fiddling? Sounds dangerous, but I managed to adjust the output so it would just sting, and tie people up! Still…I couldn’t really get a good time to throw it. I mean, we were in a cramped tunnel angling downward. If I tied our last pursuer up, he coulda died falling off! That’s no good.”
“Then we went over a HUGE jump! That last guy following us was no fun, so he stayed behind. Guy should learn to live a little! Oh, and uh, stop kidnapping people. So, we untied the lady and - uh, what was her name again? I’m sure someone wrote it down. So she told us she overheard that her friends were still in Black Sun custody on this level, and we sprung into action! Sestri brought her somewhere safe, and while Ben, Aryn, and Darro were checking the streets out, I dug into the bike that Aryn got his hands on. See? Told you it would be important later. That’s like, foreshadowing, or something.”
“Whew, hang on a sec.” The sound of someone chugging down water plays over the log. This is audio poison. “Hhah! Okay! So, the thing with these bikes, yeah? They might have been heavily customized, but Rendilli usually adds a homing feature that circles it back to its place of manufacturing. This is what happens when you just copy a template without understanding the fundamentals!”
“Anyways, I was able to get the bike to lead us to Black Sun’s base, and Ben and co. found us a couple ways in. I was inclined to just walk right in through the garage door, but we had the option to go in through the sewers, and I remembered how well that worked out when we tried it on Canth Minor, so I decided to vote for going in that way. Haha, it STANK. It reeked! But I think the Canth Minor sewers were even worse. Coruscant’s got one thing going for it. Check out the sewers if you ever visit, I guess.”
“So, we’re sloshing through the gunk, and we see a ladder in a big open area, right? So I go wading through and I get YANKED under, suddenly. I’m all soaked and smelly and I see this big squiddy thing! It has a huge red eye and a giant maw of teeth and like, twenty tentacles! I counted. It had one around my leg, but Aryn came swimming down and yanked me outta there.”
“We had a fight at this point - Ben and Darro used their lightsabers, Sestri shot it, Aryn hit it with some cool martial arts stuff. Me, I threw that foam bomb I made early into its mouth. It didn’t like that at all! Slapped me a couple times, haha. Still got the bruise, see? So, eventually I got the idea to get my fusion cutter out and just, wave it threateningly. It was already pretty banged up, so I guess the idea of another plasma cutter just made it decide we weren’t worth the trouble to eat. That’s for the best. We don’t get eaten, it doesn’t get killed. Everyone wins! Felt kinda bad, but hey, self-defense.”
“So we pop up through the grate and climb to the top of the scaffolding and we see like, twenty guys! And both of the other politicians, tied up! This is a big open area and they have an ion cannon set up! Augh, I wish I’d gotten the chance to tinker with it…so we spend a bit drumming up a plan, but then we spot an ITT coming in! Oh? Imperial Troop Transport, it’s like a funny floating brick. Painted all wacky. So Ben says why don’t we just load the hostages onto there and fly it out? It sounds like a good idea to us, so we spring into action!”
“Me and Sestri snuck over to the airspeeders they had in their hangar, and I fiddled with one to make it start automatically and careen off into the wall. They had no idea what hit them! But then I thought, why not make it even more of a mess? So we jumped in the other one and started zipping around. It made things more convenient for the other team, since they could just get on the ship without worrying about us. We might’ve almost taken an ion cannon shot getting out there but it was fiiiiine. I coulda patched us up!”
“So then we were home free. We reunited the three captives and they said they’d do some talking in the Senate about shutting Black Sun down. I dunno, that stuff’s all over my head. We helped! That’s what matters, right? Anyways, it was great. Fun day all around! Huh? Yeah, I know the showers are open, why?”
There’s a loud, obnoxious sniffing sound.
“...ohhhhhh. That’s why. Okay. Uhhh. All done! …Terminatus? Vamoose? Close?”
“Oh! End l-”
End log.