The Painting of the Lordly Tailor Shrouded in Mystery

One way or another, people find themselves at the Department of Malignant Mysteries.
They might have been suggested into the Department, they might have been approached by this kooky lady who calls herself Misty Clue...
Either way, they now stand in front of the... closed door of the department. The aforementioned lady is nowhere to be found.
Not much to do but introduce themselves to the other lost wandering souls who found themselves here, they suppose.

Ema Skye
(...Somehow, this being in a shoebox doesn't surprise me. Even Holmes' office is bigger.)
(And that's ALSO a shoebox.)
Fop. Stop preening in front of the window. You look fine.

Klavier Gavin
Fraulein, I am hoping to catch the last breaths of fresh air. These are the only windows we've seen, ja?

Ema Skye
Because you insisted on taking the stairs. That's hardly my fault.

Klavier Gavin
Have you seen the elevator? It's a classic. From the seventies.

Ema exhales through her nose as she looks out the window, her thumb running along the strap of her bag.

Ema Skye
Sure.

Mel Valance
(All this way, and the lady isn't even here? Ugh.)

Klavier Gavin
Ah, but it seems there's been a risk-taker. I respect that.
Are you here for the mystery, Frau...?

Mel Valance
...Sure, we can call it that.

Kristoph makes his way up to the department. A tad late, but should still be on time.

Kristoph Gavin
Well, what a chance meeting. I take it I'm not interrupting your little chat, Klavier? Ms. Skye?

Klavier Gavin
...Hey, Fraulein, do you see him too?

Kristoph Gavin
Is something the matter?

Ema Skye
...Great. Love the government.
[So I wasn't invited to shadow; I was invited to babysit. Fuck. Me.]

Klavier Gavin
[I didn't know. A dark age of the law, ja?]

Ema Skye
[It's fine. I'll keep an eye on him. You just... do your thing.]
[Whatever that is.]
No, you weren't interrupting. I'm guessing you got invited too?

Kristoph Gavin
Indeed. Considering the menagerie gathered here,
I will safely assume I'm at the right place.

Mel Valance
(What a motley crew that's been picked out.)
Depends. You here for Miss Wizard's pleasure tour?

Kristoph Gavin
Choice of wording aside, that would appear to be the case.

Klavier Gavin
Ah, the place could not be more wrong by being so right!
Ah, ja, so we are.
I was so thrilled by the pamphlet she gave me, I took a day off.

Mel Valance
(She makes pamphlets, too? I thought the elevator pitch was enough.)

Klavier Gavin
It's a rare occasion I am on the receiving end of it! Who could miss such a bait?
But what brings you here?

Ema Skye
Me. I was this close to pawning it off on my coworker, but he bounced before I could snag him.

Mel Valance
Lady hasn't lost my phone number, and I figure it's a day off of work.

Kristoph Gavin
I got released for exceptionally good behaviour, and just so happened to chance upon a meeting with the lady herself.
This sort of job isn't one you really say "no" to.

Speaking of the devil, you soon here the aforementioned lady whistling down the corridor.

Klavier Gavin
...The show-runner, ja?

Misty Clue
La la la la~
Oh, there you all are! Glad all of you could make it!
Nooow, let me see if I remember the picks.
One Kristoph, one Klavier, both Gavins.
One Mel Valance, and one...
Hmmm. I'm guessing someone pawned this off onto you, Ms...?

Ema Skye
...Skye. Paranormal Affairs lead.
Justice was supposed to attend. You probably have his name down instead.

Misty Clue
Oooh, yep yep! Compliments to Chef Justice, he was cooking when he sent you! I can just smell the magic coming off of you!

Ema Skye
Ugh.
Thanks, I guess.

Mel Valance
[Get used to it, ghost. She's like this.]

Misty Clue
But, it's quite uncomfy out here. Let us make our way into the office, shall we?
Then we can talk some more and do maaaagic!
And investigations.

Misty goes on ahead, unlocking the door, motioning the crowd to follow.
Ema takes the first steps. May as well enter quickly, so you can leave quickly.
Valance enters the room with little fanfare.
Kristoph moves toward the office nonchalantly, gesturing to Klavier to follow.
Klavier follows the show, wherever it takes him. Hopefully away, like Dorothy.

The inside of the office is... messy.
Books and notes everywhere, some drawings on the floor and on the wall,
reminding you of runes from various cultures, in all honesty.

Misty Clue
And here we are!

Mel Valance
(How... homey.)

Ema immediately slides her glasses onto her nose and begins looking around, her thumbs hooked into her pockets.
In the narrow passage of the door, Klavier shoulder-checks the once-upon-a-time coolest attorney in the West.

Klavier Gavin
Ach, my bad.

Kristoph Gavin
Not at all.

Misty Clue
Do sit down, take a seat, I can offer some tea. Comes out of your paycheques, though.

Mel Valance
...I'll pass.

Ema Skye
I brought my own water, but thanks.

Klavier Gavin
Ah-ha, I would not mind the tea, Frau Clue.

Kristoph Gavin
My, what a...
charming little office you've got here.

Misty Clue
It is quite charming, isn't it! Been mine for the past 6 or so years.
And one tea coming up!

Misty quickly prepares the aforementioned tea, and hands it to Klavier. It tastes like too much water, and not enough tea.

Kristoph Gavin
I tend to stay away from coffee and tea nowadays. Bad omens. Do you have any water, perhaps?

Misty Clue
I... suppose.

Misty puts a cup under the tap, and gives it to Kristoph.

Ema Skye
What? Don't tell us you believe in tea readings now, bootleg.

Kristoph Gavin
Not exactly, but if that's how you wish to interpret it, I certainly won't stop you, Ms. Skye.

Misty Clue
Hmm, tea readings. That could be an interesting topic to explore later.
Nonetheless, I'm sure all of you are wondering just why exactly you all are here.

Mel Valance
Well, you got me there, Misty.

Misty Clue
Simple, really. Believe it or not, there exists magic in our world.
I picked you all up because I sensed powerful magic within you.
Do you know just where you are?
It's not a hard question. You've seen the plaques outside. The Department of Malignant Mysteries.
But do you know what that means?

Mel Valance
And what a name it is. Snrk.

Misty Clue
H-hey! I'm trying to sound cool here!
Just like... go with the flow!

Mel Valance
You lost any chance at sounding cool the second you put on that hat, Misty.
Not the spitting image of "cool" when you have to save your hat from falling off in narrow doorways.

Ema Skye
I feel like it's not fair if I say what it means. You three have fun.

Klavier Gavin
Ah, Fraulein, if I say it, I will have to bring up all the infamy about it! I'll spare the scene the tea.

Misty Clue
Wh-why are all of you like this?!

Klavier Gavin
Frau Clue, you have the spotlight, isn't that good?

Misty Clue
I guess! But this is a respectable government establishment doing a respectable government job!
You are all ruining my fun.

Mel Valance
(Government work is supposed to be fun?)

Misty Clue
Still, I suppose you all know what this place is about.
Investigating crimes that may have been committed with magic... using magic.

Ema Skye
...Sounds about right.

Kristoph Gavin
Not unheard of, given the whole spirit medium craze decades ago.

Misty Clue
We have received a few strongly-worded letters from the Kingdom of Khurain a few years back about some of our spells.
But that's neither here nor there.

Klavier Gavin
Ah, mein Bruder, you aught to never speak to ladies from Khura'in.

Ema Skye
Really?! I didn't think they'd care that much.
[That's good to know, though...]

Misty Clue
I was surprised myself. I thought they wouldn't notice.
Something about the disturbed souls or whatever.

Klavier Gavin
Nothing that wouldn't pass the Grand Witch Geneva Grimoire check, ja?

Mel Valance
...Pffffffff.

Kristoph Gavin
You know what they say about raising the dead. Don't be a necronomi-moron.

Ema Skye
...Alright. Bootleg's got some game in him still.

Mel Valance
...If someone is trying to make you raise the dead, you've already been necronomi-conned.

Ema Skye
...Ugh.

Mel Valance
(What, and mine wasn't funny?!)

Klavier Gavin
Perhaps we should return to our Clues, ja?

~ Recess ~