(written by Byerly and Kris)
The Singing Stag was winding down for the night, the patrons had left with only a few hangers on; one fully asleep on the long communal table which ran the middle of the room.
According to Ivis, Grummen had been a rare visitor to the Singing Stag over the years, but more lately at Mari'spersuasion. She would admit privately that it had been terrified to have him around at all in the beginning, but was beginning to think the issue was more about the townsfolk than the Half-Orc and she might have been too quick to judge.
For his part this evening Grummen had mostly kept to himself at one of the far tables in the corner. People had been very polite, but all the regulars had kept their distance. This hadn’t seemed to bother him. He’d traded 10 people’s worth of fish for enough food to feed 5 and seemed very pleased with the tankard of the Zanatta cider. Spoils of battle? It was hard to say but he drank it uncharacteristically slowly.
Lorsan came into the main room from a servant’s entrance, carrying a crate of something behind the bar to his aunt. Seeing Grummen, he nearly dropped the crate as he ever-so-politely pushed through the gawkers and slid onto the bench across from Grummen.
“Grummen!” he smiled. “My friend! So glad to see you! You’re looking good, have you been exercis…”
“What Lorsan want?” Grummen eyed the gushing half-elf.
Lorsan feigned shock. “Why would you ever say that? We fought together! We saw things together! We…”
Grummen’s eyes narrowed while taking a swig from the tankard.
Lorsan sighed. “Okay, you got me. You always were the clever one, seeing thr…”
Grummen grunted into his mug, or was that a laugh.
“The perfume!” Lorsan blurted out. “I really want, no need, that perfume. The festival’s coming up and it’s really the best chance to, uh, make strong impressions on a lot of people. Come on Grummen, you barely like most people! I want to like as many of them as possible!”
“Lorsan not need perfume to like people” he sat down the tankard and crossed his arms. “Why Lorsan want.”
Lorsan blushed. “Well, it’s more a, uh, physical liking. And people tend to be more interested if you smell nice.”
Grummen pondered this for a bit. “Lorsan want many people to like him physically,” it was probably a question.
“Well, maybe not many people? At least not at the same time? Probably? Several people. Aiming for several people I think.” Lorsan stumbled through, trying to decide how much he really wanted to disclose to his friend.
“Lorsan lonely?” This was definitely a question.
“Well Grummen, there are a few different types of lonely.” Lorsan began. “I have great friends here, like you. And I get to be with my aunt again. So not lonely in those ways. But, well, it’s been a while since I’ve shared…”
Lorsan sighed. “Sex. It’s sex, Grummen. I’ve been here over half a year and my bed’s been just me this whole time. I am very much lonely in a, uh, carnal way. And this is the one time a year that all kinds of people come into town, so probably my best shot.”
Grummen regarded Lorsan with suspicion or perhaps confusion, “perfume fill bed?”
Lorsan mutters under his breath “Perfume might fill many things…”
“Yeah, perfume fill bed, at least for a few nights while the festival is going on.” Lorsan confirmed.
Grummen considered his own bed for a moment, well, hammock. It had also been empty and he had not considered perfume might be a solution. He sniffed the vial and eyed Lorsan, considering this new possibility. “Perfume fill bed” he said thoughtfully.
Oh no. thought Lorsan. I’ve said too much.
“I mean, for certain people, yes” Lorsan rushed. “But for someone like you with all your charm and … uniqueness. I’m sure you won’t need perfume. I bet it would even seem out-of-place.”
Grummen raised an eyebrow at the half elf. It was not a friendly expression. “Lorsan talk fast, Lorsan talk to fill bed?” Grummen mused on why one of the Bosco children would give him a perfume of bed filling, it was a thoughtful gift but a strange one.
Lorsan kinda waffled, not sure how best to answer that question. “Well… Talking as in my personality, yeah, I guess that helped me fill my bed back in Port Bova. Most people like talking. And if they like your talking enough and enough other things line up in your favor, yeah, it can fill your bed.”
“But it’s not just talking, it’s also those other things. Attraction, compatibility, interest, a lot of things impact if someone wants to fill another’s bed.”
Lorsan wondered how he ended up explaining courtship, or at least the art of the one-night-stand to Grummen. It felt good to chat with the big guy, but it also felt like he was getting way off topic.
Grummen nodded “Understand, Lorsan need magic to fill bed” Grummen paused as if considering and took on a more serious tone “Lorsan asking Grummen help?”
Lorsan’s back shot up straight. “Wait, no! I don’t need anything help me to fill bed! I mean, it would be easier with the perfume…oh gods. Is, is this how it starts? Is this how I start down a dark path? Is this what this pact thing does to people??”
The last part was mumbled, mostly to himself. “Listen. Grummen. I. umm. I think the perfume smells nice and would probably help fill bed. But now I’m not so sure that’s a good idea. Should we be using enchanted perfume to woo the locals? Is that a thing good people would do?”
Grummen looked confused and pointed to his axe “kill enemy” and then to Lorsan’s hand “kill enemy with magic” and then shrugged “enemy dead.” Grummen looked for words “perfume fill bed how, make talk faster, make other like fast talking more, make want fill bed without talking?” The struggle played across his face as he stumbled through his words like an especially clumsy child jumping rope “axe make Grummen kill enemy better than fist, still challenge, still glory. If magic axe steal want-to-fight from enemy, enemy not choose to give up, no glory, only shame.” Grummen looked strained from the effort but still dissatisfied as though the metaphor didn’t fit to his liking but this was as close as he could manage.
Lorsan could see the frustration on his friend’s face, but oddly knew what Grummen meant. There were potion-shops in Port Bova run by bad people. But this had come from a friend, so Lorsan didn’t know how it could be like those shops.
He motions to the bottle in Grummen’s grasp. “I don’t think it can take their, uh, want to fight. But how it works probably depends on the person, to be honest. Some will want to fill bed because you smell nice to them, not much talking needed. Maybe none. Others the talking goes easier or quicker because they like the scent. This isn’t any one response everyone has if it’s like the nice perfumes back in Port Bova. The, ah, bed houses would use them to grab your attention. It was really something else.”
Lorsan gets a bit of a wistful look in his eyes before shaking the memory clear. “But back to this. Maybe we should ask the wizard before we use magic perfume for bed-filling…”